


The Redneck and The Samurai (II)

by twhite179



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abusive Past, Andrea - Freeform, Carl Grimes - Freeform, Carol - Freeform, Dale - Freeform, Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Daryl Dixon/Original female Character - Freeform, Daryl/You, Hershels Farm, Lori Grimes - Freeform, Maggie - Freeform, Original Female Character - Freeform, Reader Insert, Shane Walsh - Freeform, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Romance, Walking Dead Season 2, daryl dixon - Freeform, glenn - Freeform, past trauma, reader - Freeform, rick grimes - Freeform, sophia - Freeform, t-dog - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform, twd, twd - season 2, walking dead - Freeform, walking dead - family, walking dead - relationship - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 40,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twhite179/pseuds/twhite179
Summary: After the trauma of your past and the world now in utter chaos, you'd never have thought you'd have found a group such as this to ride out the walker filled world. You navigate through this new apocalyptic life with Rick Grimes and others, including a certain redneck with a crossbow, facing obstacle after obstacle together and fighting for one another as friendships turn into family.Part 2 - You, Sophia and the group head for Fort Benning but a couple things along the way mean you come across a family at a farmhouse, forced to help you. As you and the group, navigate the obstacles you currently face you find yourself getting a lot closer to Daryl and your past eventually coming to light amongst the group. As you battle yourself, the group has big decisions to make before anything goes wrong, but is it too late?(Part 3 posted)(Follows the walking dead (TV) storyline but with my added reader character, plotlines and twists of existing plotlines.)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	1. one

Fort Benning. It was our only option. It was the only one we had or could think of. After the CDC, we’d been heading there in any hopes of safety for the group. Though, hope seemed to be severely lacking from us all, not that anyone said anything about it. We’d been traveling for a couple days towards Fort Benning. It was taking longer than we thought as the RV wasn’t in the best of conditions, breaking down a couple times but it miraculously was still running. Dale and Glenn magically keeping it going somehow. We had to stop to siphon gas a few times too on top of it all. Having to ditch a couple vehicles to make it last longer. Plus, the added problem of encountering small clusters of wrecked vehicles on the road that we would have to either strategically manoeuvre around, trying hard not to get stuck in the grass and mud, although the RV did manage to also get itself stuck once. Of course. Or we’d have to move them out of the way ourselves when going around them wasn’t an option, making a clear path for our vehicles to get through. Daryl and I had also gone hunting a couple times for food when we could when we stopped for repairs or to move things. Despite the wave of pit stops, we were getting there, albeit slowly, but we were getting there. We just had to hope that something was there when we got to it.

Shortly after the CDC, Daryl’s truck had broken down. Dale offered to take a look, but Daryl didn’t seem too bothered about it. I realised why when he had started taking the bike off the back. The group took the moment to shuffle around the vehicles. Dale resumed his position driving the RV along with some of the others while Rick, Lori, the kids and me were in one of the cars. Daryl had taken his bike out in front of the RV leading the group on the roads. When he rode past as I was getting into the car, it was the first time I’d seen him ride it and I couldn’t help but notice that he looked good on it. 

The first time the RV stopped, it was nearly dusk, so Daryl took the opportunity to go hunt for some food for the night. I’d asked to join and he’d allowed it, but with a comment about keeping quiet. I followed him on the hunt and managed to spot some tracks of animals, ones he of course had probably already clocked just before me, but he acknowledged me every time I pointed them out. The first couple times I did, he had only slightly looked impressed, easily missed but I noticed all the same and took it as a sign of approval. 

We’d tracked a small deer, Daryl shooting a couple squirrels on the way, and he’d taken it down with one shot. As it fell and laid there, I was stood next to him when he nudged me. I turned to face him and saw he was holding his crossbow in front of me. I looked back up to him in confusion.

“You know you already killed it right?” I say.

“You said you wanted a go with it. Better to start with a target that’s not moving. Or dead.” He replies. 

I smile as I take the crossbow from him. I hold it up pointed at the dead deer, aiming for it’s skull, thinking the less punctured the body is the better for everyone. Daryl adjusts my arms and hold on the crossbow in my stance, whispering what to do from the side of me. His touch was rough but both gentle and slow at the same time and I trembled ever so slightly under it. When he stopped, I fully concentrated my aim at the head of the animal. I breathed and took my shot.

“Well, if you were aiming for the neck I’d say you got it.” Daryl states.

I turn shaking my head. “The skull. Close, right?” I smile. He scoffs with a small smirk. “Mmhmm.” He goes to retrieve the arrows from the deer when I put my arm across his chest, stopping him.

“One more time. I can get it.”  
“Nah. We don’t need no more holes in it.” Daryl grunts.

“I can do it.” I blurt. He stares but I match it. He sighs then looks back to the deer and gestures towards it for me to take another shot.

With a grin at winning him over, I take aim once again, looking through the scope of the crossbow. I take my shot and the arrow flies straight through into the skull of the deer. Proud, I turn to Daryl with a smirk.

“Told you I could do it.”

“Mmhmm.” He moves forward to collect the arrows. “Wait till it’s a movin’ target, then we’ll see.” He retorts. I smile with my eyebrows raised at him as he hauls the small deer on his back. He catches my look. “Fine. You picked it up quick. But like I said, ain’t no movin’ target or something trying to eat ya.” He says as he comes up next to me.

“Admit it. You’re impressed, Dixon.” I tease, nudging his side as we walk. He looks at me, seeing me smile. “Stop.” he says, one side of his mouth arching ever so smally into a near smile.

The following morning, as we were about to set back off, I was getting into the car when Daryl called out to me. I looked around to see him standing over his bike when he nodded his head back to behind him.

“Said you wanted to ride. Come on.” He called. 

With a hop in my step, I joined him on the back of his bike. The roar of the engine excited me as he turned it on, I could feel the power if it beneath me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and I felt him slightly tense at the contact but he soon relaxed. The wind in my hair and on my face was a sensation I had never quite felt before and I relished the time I spent behind Daryl on his bike, loving every second. The combination of the air speeding past me and holding onto someone was a moment I shared with another person that I didn’t want to relinquish. I then thought that it made it all the more better that it was Daryl I was clinging onto, realising I wouldn’t have felt more comfortable with anyone else or wanted it to be anyone else. This feeling felt strange to me because I’d only met this man just over a week ago but I guessed, as a group, we had gone through a lot already, binding us together. However, perhaps I cared for Daryl more than I thought.

It was our second day of travelling. I had joined Sophia, Rick and the others in the car, seeing as I had ridden with Daryl all of the previous day and wanting to give him and myself a bit of break from it. I figured he’d want some space on it after me being on it all day with him and I wanted to see it as more of a luxury than it become a common occurrence, seeing as we didn’t get much of those these days, I wanted to savour it. 

In the back of the car with Sophia and Carl, I listened to Rick and Lori talk about a family trip they once took to the Grand Canyon when Carl was a baby. It was nice hearing about their family before all this, even the smallest snippet. It was comforting in that moment but equally, it made me feel guilty that Sophia never got that kind of life, instead she just got stuck with me, making it through what life I could give her and now this. I didn’t mind that I never really got it either, I was past that as soon as I had to care for Sophia after we were left, but she deserved the life Rick and Lori had made for Carl. Not this life, on the run. Seemed as though, even after all I went through, and trying to make sure Sophia didn’t have to go though that too, she ended growing up in something worse. 

“Can we go see it- the Grand Canyon?” Carl asked, pulling me back into the conversation. “I’d like to.”

“I would too. Can we go?” Sophia added and if I hadn’t have already felt guilty, that would have done it.

“We’d never go without you and your sister.” Rick turned to say as Lori turned and held out her hand for me to take. “That’s a promise.” I took her hand and looking back to the road, I caught Rick’s glance into the rear view mirror and smiled my appreciation with a slight nod, noting he probably saw straight through my pained smile at Sophia’s comment. I was grateful to have found these people. I guess they were sort of becoming our new family. They would do anything for each other and I’d do the same for them.


	2. two

Along the highway we’d started on, we had come across the biggest roadblock we’d seen yet. The wreckage and abandonment of cars was immense. We were following Daryl slowly through the blockage behind the RV when it comes to a stop, I see smoke hissing, coming around the sides no doubt from the front of it. It had broken down again. It was becoming a daily occurrence at this point. We approach the RV as Dale comes out, followed by the others, spraying his annoyance at the machine.

“I said it. didn’t I say it? a thousand times – dead in the water.” Dale moans.

“Problem, Dale?” Shane probes.

“Oh, just the small matter of being stuck in the middle of no where with no hope of—,” Dale begins as he stops himself upon realising we were surrounded by other vehicles we could easily loot for spare parts. “Okay. That was dumb.” He finishes.

“Can’t find a radiator hose here.” Shane bluntly jokes as Daryl starts looking through a trunk of a car.

“There’s a whole bunch of stuff we could find.” He points out as I move forward to join.

“Syphon more fuel from these cars, for a start.” I state.

“Maybe some water?” Carol contributes.

“Food?” Glenn adds.

“This is a graveyard.” Lori interjects. Everyone just looks around not knowing what to say. “I don’t know how I feel about this.” She finishes. 

“Come on y’all. Just look around. Gather what you can.” Shane orders as I go to grab a couple gas canisters and bag.

“Sophia, stay with Carol. Do as she says, okay. Always within her sight.” I instruct, stroking her head as she nods. 

“I’m gonna head a little further up, see what I can find.” I state turning to Rick and Shane.

“Sure, just take someone with you.” Rick urges. “You got it, officer.” I tease, sending him a small salute with my fingers accompanied with a smirk. “Alright, just get going.” He smiles, pushing me forward as I laugh. 

“Hey Dixon, catch.” I call to Daryl who turns only just catching one of the gas canisters and tubes. “Wanna help?” I ask, walking on. “Not really givin’ me a choice here are ya?” he answers following me. “Nope. Come on.” I smirk.

“Hey, guys. Mind if I join? Can help syphon the gas, while one of you scavenges.” T-Dog calls. “Sure, come on.” I reply.

We walk quite a bit further up, seeing what we can find. T-Dog stops at a car as Daryl jimmies the gas cap open with his knife. I carry on ahead trying to spot any supplies we could find a use for. Not finding much, a lot has already been looted by the looks of things, but I manage to uncover a few cans of food and useful things, easily forgotten, like clothes. Daryl had caught up with me, starting to syphon gas himself from a nearby car, telling me not to go off.

“Don’t wander off too far. Don’t need you getting’ lost and end up needin’ saving.” He states.

“You know I have a sword and a gun, right?” I quirk. “Mmhmm.” He simply mumbles back. I scoff to myself as I carry on scavenging. 

I’d been looking through a few cars when I suddenly felt a hand cover my mouth and someone spin me around, pulling me down against the car to a crouch. It was Daryl. He held his finger to his mouth, gesturing for me to stay quiet as he removed his hand. 

“What?” I whisper but before he can even answer I notice on the opposite side of a car that was in front of us, a few walkers were appearing to walk past. They hadn’t noticed us yet, but it was only a matter of time before they did. We’d moved over against an overturned car for cover as we were between two cars and the direction of which the walkers were coming from was blocked by this overturned car to the gap we were currently crouched in, keeping them on either sides of the cars. Though there was gaps for them to go around the car into the gap we were in, they seemed to miss them. A few walkers started turning into several and crouched against this car with Daryl wasn’t going to work soon if more kept coming and realised the gaps or were forced into them.

That’s when I heard a bashing against metal and panting from the other side of the car. It clearly wasn’t a walker from the breathlessness; I knew Daryl heard it too when I saw him look around. This close to us it had to be T-Dog. 

“That’s gotta be T. What if he’s in trouble?” I whisper as quietly as I could. Daryl looks at me and just nods for me to follow him. 

We slowly and quietly make our way around the car hunched, keeping low, trying not to draw attention to the few walkers near us as we came around. Daryl stopped at the corner of the car, peering round and suddenly goes forward around the corner of the car. I move up to see him take down a walker with his knife, discarding his bow, when another appears from ahead of me coming towards the overturned car, which I stand and lunge forward for, taking it’s head clean off swinging my sword. I notice that a massive amount of walkers were headed towards us, uncomfortably close to us already. I come back around making my way over to Daryl and T-Dog, who was bleeding profusely from his arm covering his whole left side in blood. 

“Cover him with the walker, then do it yourself. Quick!” I whisper crouched next to Daryl. He pulls the walker he killed on top of T-Dog as I grab one of the dead bodies lying around by the cars, covering myself with it. I notice Daryl grab one from a car, pulling it out and down with him as the main massive cluster of the walkers now started to make their way through all the cars, past us. 

Thankfully, it seemed the dead masked us and the walkers carried on stumbling past without as so much as glance down at us. All we could do was wait for them all to pass. I suddenly was stuck with the thought of the others, of Sophia. Had they managed to find cover? Was Sophia okay? As we laid there motionless, I didn’t hear any screams, so I figured no one had been attacked but we were quite far away from the rest of the group. So maybe something could have happened and we didn’t hear? No. no, we weren’t that far away not to hear a scream or shout. If something were to happen, we would have heard. I held onto that hope, that everyone was alright.

It felt so long before all the walkers had past. Although, I had no idea how long it had actually been but there were so many walkers that came by. I’d never seen so many like that on the move before. Other than at Atlanta, but they seemed to just huddle and follow any noise in the city, staying there. Not like these. 

We’d stayed still, even with the last few stragglers to be safe but as soon as it was clear, we threw the walkers off us and as Daryl helped T-Dog to sit up. I immediately ripped my shirt off in a rush, as I had my tank top on underneath, so I could use it to wrap the dangerously deep gash he’d managed somehow. I ripped the bottom part of my shirt and tied the bit of fabric around his arm as a tourniquet to help reduce the blood flow and then wrapped the wound with the rest of shirt as make-shift bandage for the time being. We both hauled him up, supporting him at each side as we made our way back to the group.

Nearing the group, I could see they were gathered around the edge of the highway, close to the RV. We’d clearly had to wait a little longer for the walkers to pass, being further up the highway. As we approached, I could see the look of pity and worry on the group’s faces when they saw us coming up to them. They must have thought T-Dog was bit.

“Hey, get us some help, T-Dog’s hurt pretty bad.” Daryl calls out to the group upon approach to the RV.

“What the hell happened, he bit?” Shane calls back as the group walks to meet us.

“No, just badly wounded, he needs bandages.” I reply urgently as Dale and Glenn rush up to take him from us. “What was that- all of them just marching along like that? It was like some kind of herd, or whatever you’d call it.” I continue as they take T-Dog from us and start helping him towards the RV.

“Herd. That sounds about right. Just like that wandering pack back at the camp when it was attacked, only fewer.” Shane agrees but as he talks I look around the group and I can’t see Sophia. “Now, Y/N, I don’t want you to panic bu-,” Shane starts but I cut him off, not listening to him in the first place when I saw she wasn’t with Carol or with anyone, “Where’s Sophia? Where is she?!” I burst. 

“She got chased off from under her car by a couple walkers, but I don-,” Shane begins explaining, staying calm in order to try to keep me the same but it doesn’t work as I interrupt him again, “What? Oh my god! Where?! I blurt, looking around hysterical.

“Into the woods.” Shane calmly announces. 

I start off into a run towards the woods next to the highway, about to jump the metal railing edging the road as Shane and others call after me when Shane grabs me from behind, stopping me.

“Let the hell go of me, I gotta go after her!” I shout as I’m pulled back. 

“Rick ran after her, he’ll find her. He was right behind her. He’ll bring her back, alright. Best you stay here and wait. Can you do that Y/N?” Shane demands, still holding a firm grip of me as I struggle under his hold.

“You expect me to stand here and do nothing?” I argue. “That’s exactly what you do. Rick’s got this, alright. Now I’m gonna let go. Can you stay here for me Y/N? huh. Can you do that?” he asks as I’m still under his grip, exasperated, but I say nothing.

“Look, ain’t no point you runnin’ in there after her too now, we’ll just lose ya in there and have to search for ya too, alright? She’ll be fine. She’s with Rick.” Daryl steps forward and explains to me. 

Knowing he’s probably right, I say “Okay.” and Shane releases me from his grip, which I push out of away from him and I can do is pace on the road, in sheer worry and anticipation at Sophia and Rick’s return.


	3. three

Rick had returned, but without Sophia. He’d explained as I was in hysterics that he’d hid her in a spot so he could draw away the walkers but when he came back she had gone, assuming she had come back to the highway like he told her. I had demanded that he take me to where she was so I could start tracking her, so I could find her.

Daryl, Shane and Glenn had joined us to go look around. Rick had led us to a creek where he had left Sophia to hide in the cover of a tree’s branches overlapping into it.

“Your sure this was the spot?” I demanded, looking at the spot she was left.

“I left her right here. I drew the walkers away off in that direction, up the creek.” Rick explained, pointing up the creek. “She was gone by the time I got back here, that’s why I figured she just took off and ran back to the group. I told her, go that way, and keep the sun on her left shoulder.” He continued, pointing to a spot up the bank out and away from the creek. Daryl and I walked up the spot he gestured where Glenn was standing.

“Hey, why don’t you step off to one side? You’re mucking up the trail.” Daryl called to Glenn.

“Assuming she knows the left from the right.” Shane comments, snapping me from looking for tracks towards Shane.

“She knows. She’s fourteen, not four. She’s not stupid, she’s probably just scared.” I snap, not appreciating the remark in the slightest. “Shane, she understood me fine.” Rick sternly adds. 

“Look, the kid’s tired and scared, man. She had her a close call with two walkers. I’m kinda wondering how much of what you said stuck, Rick.” Shane points out and I’m about to snap at him again when Daryl calls out.

“We’ve got clear prints right here. She did like you said- headed back to the highway. Let’s spread out. Come on.” Daryl orders as Shane helps him out the creek, Rick and I following.

“She couldn’t have gotten far. We’ll make our way back.” Shane adds as he helps me out the creek, Rick following. “Hey. We’re gonna find her. Probably tucked, hiding in a bush somewhere.” He continues, focusing on me as we follow after Daryl and Glenn.

I’d gone out in front with Daryl, following the tracks, leading us through the woods, which headed towards the highway but at some point they steered off in another direction. Daryl knelt down, while I stayed stood, as the others came to stand behind him.

“She was doing just fine until right here.” I point out, my panic starting to rise more again.

“Yeah. All she had to do was keep going. She veered off that way.” Daryl elaborates, pointing in another direction the tracks led.

“Why would she do that?” Glenn asks.

“Maybe she saw something that spooked her, made her run off.” Shane theorises.

“A walker?” Glenn questions.

“I don’t see any other footprints, just hers. Do you?” I ask Daryl.

“Nah. Definitely just hers.” He confirms.

“So what do we do? All of us press on?” Shane asks.

“No. Better if you take Glenn and Y/N, get back up to the highway. People are going to start panicking if we’re all gone too long.” Rick instructs.

“I’m not going back to that highway without her, Rick. Shane made me wait once. I’m not standing up there helpless again, when I can be here looking for her.” I sternly protest.

“Daryl and I will keep looking, alright? You’re too flustered to be out here right now and I followed her out here. I’ll get her back to you.” Rick counters.

“What, and you think I’ll be any better on the highway?” I snap and Rick sighs, turning his attention to Shane. “Keep everybody calm, let ‘em know we’re on her trail.” Rick orders.

“I’ll keep ‘em busy scavenging cars. I’ll think up a few other chores. I’ll keep ‘em occupied.” he replies.

“Chores. You want me up there moving cars and looking for cans while Sophia’s out there alone.” I bite. 

“Y/N, please.” Rick urges. “We’ll get her Y/N, we will. I promise” Daryl adds. I look at them both and turn away, walking off back towards the highway in a fit of anger and worry.

I couldn’t help the others even if I wanted to. My mind wouldn’t let me focus on anything but Sophia. I just paced the edge of the road, watching the treeline of the woods for Rick and Daryl’s return, praying Sophia was with them. The others moved cars mostly as some scavenged while Dale continued on repairing the RV. Having felt like I had waited for longer than I cared for, I turned back to the group.

“Shane, I’ve stood here long enough, can we please go back in there and help them look.” I pleaded as he approached from the car.

“No. you heard Rick. Besides, we need to get these cars moved so we can get this RV turned around, now we got enough fuel to double back to that bypass Glenn flagged. Going backs gonna be easier than trying to get through this mess. We’d be able to get it done and get out of here a lot quicker if you helped.” Shane explained.

“We’re not going anywhere until Sophia gets back.” I state sternly.

“Hey, that goes without saying.” Lori comes up saying, touching my arm in comfort.

“Look, Rick and Daryl, they’re on it. You know that. Okay? It’s just a matter of time.” He says, trying to comfort me also. I just walk back the road’s edge as Shane urges everyone back to their chores.

It was nearing dusk and Rick and Daryl still weren’t back. I hadn’t moved from my spot at the edge of the road. Just waiting. Helplessly. I should’ve stayed with them. Just waiting was torture. 

I felt a hand on my back. I turned to see Andrea, pity on her face.

“It’s late. It’ll be dark soon.” I state, looking back to the treeline.

“They’ll find her.” Andrea says, rubbing my back before she turned back to the group. I’d heard her complaining about not having her gun and wanting it back but I didn’t pay much attention, still just concentrating on the woods and after a moment, all my concentration poured into the sight of Rick and Daryl breaking the tree line and coming towards us, without Sophia, again.

My hands covered my face as tears began to swell in my eyes. When they got closer, I moved them back down, fidgeting on the spot, not knowing what to do with myself.

“You didn’t find h-her?” I asked, holding back the tears.

“Her trail went cold. We’ll pick it up again first light.” Rick said as he came to a stop in front of me.

“We can’t leave her out there on her own, to spend a night alone in the woods.” I blubber.

“Out in the dark’s no good. We’d just be tripping over ourselves. You know that. More people getting lost.” Daryl pointed out, in a soft, comforting voice yet still a little rough. A tone I hadn’t heard him use until now.

“But she’s just a kid. she can’t be out there on her own. You didn’t find anything?”

“I know this is hard, but I’m asking you not to panic. We know she was out there.” Rick began. “And we tracked her for a while.” Daryl added, still in his soft tone. “We have to make this an organised effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I’ve asked him to oversee this.” Rick finishes, addressing the group as a whole. I then notice Daryl has blood on his clothes.

“Is that- is that blood?” I question weakly. He just looks at his clothes, then to Rick, clearly not knowing what to say.

“He took down a walker.” Rick answered.

“Walker. Oh god.” I started fidgeting on the spot again.

“There was no sign it was ever anywhere near Sophia.” Rick assured me as Lori put her arm around me, rubbing mine in comfort.

“How can you know that.” Andrea asked, taking the words out my mouth. Rick looked to Daryl this time, not knowing how to word the answer.

“We cut the son of a bitch open. Made sure.” He said. I closed my eyes, hanging my head down as I lowered myself onto the metal railing along the highway. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time as they fell quietly down my cheeks. Lori joining me, putting her arms around me again.

Rick knelt in front of me, putting his hand on my knee in assurance. “Y/N, I’m sorry this has happened, truly I am. What happened, I had no choice, it was her best chance to draw them off away from her. But I won’t rest until we find her. I promise.” Rick declares.

“My little sister got left in the woods.” I blubber as I say to the floor with my eyes closed, Lori pulling me into an embrace.


	4. four

The following morning, we prepared to go out after Sophia. After an evening of tears and hardly any sleep, in the back of a car, I’d composed myself. Now just dead set on finding Sophia. No tears. No fear. No anger. Just determination. 

Rick laid out an array of weapons like machetes, small axes, big knives, etc on top of a car bonnet for people to take, who didn’t have guns. Much to Andrea’s protests.

“Everybody takes a weapon.” Rick orders.

“These aren’t the kind of weapons we need. What about the guns?” Andrea argues.

“We’ve been over that. Daryl, Rick, Y/N and I are carrying. We can’t have people popping off rounds every time the tree rustles.” Shane explains.

“It’s not the trees I’m worried about. And why’s it Y/N gets to carry her gun and I don’t? How’s that fair?” she questions.

“Because Y/N is a good shot and was taught how to handle a gun, she wasn’t just handed one, one day like some of y’all. Anyway, say somebody fires at the wrong moment- a herd happens to be passing by. See, then it’s game over for all of us. so you need to get over.” Shane retorts, Andrea glaring at him.

“The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around, and come back down the other side. Chances are she’ll be by the creek. It’s her only landmark.” Daryl instructs.

“Stay quiet. Stay sharp. Keep space between you, but always stay within sight of each other.” Rick orders as he turns to talk to Dale. “Everybody assemble your packs.” Shane announces and we move to ready ourselves to leave. 

In the woods, Daryl and I are in front, leading the way, with Rick behind and Shane covering the back as we move in a line. We eventually come up close to something I spot in the near distance. I tap Daryl on the shoulder, making him turn from looking in the other direction, pointing over to what looks like a tent. He sees it and nods as we inch closer to it, eventually stopping and turning to Rick to gesture to stop the others and get low.

“She could be in there.” Shane announces quietly.

“There could be a whole bunch of things in there.” Daryl counters as he goes back to a stand, Rick, Shane and I following. We make our way towards it and once we’re near it’s front. Daryl turns, signalling us to stop and wait here while he checks the inside. He drops his crossbow as he begins approaching, unsheathing his knife. At the entrance of the tent, he tries peeking in, not being able to see anything inside, he shrugs back at us.

Rick turns to me, whispering, “Call out softly. If she’s in there, yours is the first voice she should hear.” As Daryl crouches poised with his knife ready for anything that could come out.

“Sophia? Are you in there? Sophia, it’s me. We’re all here for you, Sophia. It’s me.” I call out but nothing happens. Daryl nods for us to come over and we slowly walk up behind to cover him. He gently and quietly unzips the tent flap and pushes it back only to reveal a putrid smell that makes us cough. Looking in I see someone who clearly had chosen to ‘opt out’ as Jenner had once put it.

“What’s in there?” Lori calls from the rest of the group.

“Some guy. Did what Jenner said. Opted out. Ain’t that what he called it?” Daryl explains, taking the words right out of my head when suddenly, what sound like church bells, start ringing somewhere out in the far distance. Everyone looks around as we pinpoint the direction and Rick moves as I do towards it, everyone else following suit.

As we’re headed in the direction, the bells get louder, a good sign we’re going in the right direction when they stop all of a sudden but we keep heading in the direction. Until, we break a treeline into a graveyard with a church on the other side.

“That can’t be it- got no steeple, no bells.” Shane points out.

“The bells came from this direction. You think there’s any other churches hauled up in these woods?” I snap as I begin towards it in a run, Rick by my side as I hear the others follow.

Rick and I stand at the door, as Daryl and Shane come up behind us. Rick looks to us all, gesturing us to shush before he nods at me and we push the doors to the church open. As we look inside, there’s four walkers sitting inside that then turn to the sound of the door being opened. The guys swap their guns for quieter weapons as the walkers, spotting us, stand and begin to try make their way to us. I start off down the aisle, sword in hand, towards a couple that had come into the middle of the aisle from the front seats as the guys go around the sides drawing the closer walkers in the seats towards them. I hear Rick take the first walker down with a grunt and pang of his machete as I swing my sword taking the first walkers head clean off and step forward swinging my sword back the way it came, slicing the walkers top half of the head off. It falls to ground and just in a pure moment of rage I bring my sword down on its lifeless body, rises it up and bringing it down again, and again, and again, not stopping, grunting in anger. I hear Rick shout Sophia in frustration and desperation as I feel a hand on my back, stopping me hacking the walker. I turn to see Daryl.

“Hey, come on.” He almost whispers, moving his hand slowly to my arm and ushering me away from the walker. “You good?” he asks, still in his soft tone like before. I nod as we make our way back up the aisle. 

“I’m telling you it’s the wrong church. It’s got no steeple, Rick. There’s no steeple.” Shane says once again just as the bells start ringing again, coming from this church, and I bolt forward outside with Daryl hot on my side. We all follow the noise around the corner of the church to see its coming from a speaker on it’s wall. Glenn goes to disconnect it from its panel, also on the wall.

“A timer- It’s on a timer.” Daryl declares to the rest of group, panting as I just hang my head.

“I’m gonna head back inside for a bit.” Carol announces sadly. 

The group disperses as most of us head back inside. I follow the others in, seeing Carol up the front of the church, beginning a prayer as I move in and to the side, leaning against the wall. I listen to Carol’s words as she starts praying for Sophia’s safe return. Her words are kind and sincere, but I can’t listen to them regardless or I’ll start crying again, so I push myself off the wall and walk out the church, back outside. I head towards a tree and perch myself under it as the rest of the group eventually start emerging out of the church also, joining me by the tree as we regroup. Rick and Shane then walk off away from the group, no doubt discussing what to do next. 

Their talk looks a little tense but Shane suddenly starts back to us with purpose, clearing his throat as he approaches.

“Y’all got to follow the creek bed back. Okay? Daryl, you’re in charge. Me and Rick, we’re just gonna hang back. Search this area another hour or so- just to be thorough.” Shane announces.

“Splitting us up. You sure?” Daryl asks.

“Yeah. We’ll catch up to you.” Shane answers.

“I’m staying with you two.” I declare as I stand. “And don’t argue this time. If she’s around, she could have heard those bells. I’m staying to look and you’re not convincing me otherwise. Not a third time.” I continue. 

Shane looks to Rick. “Alright. You’re with us. The rest of you go on back with Daryl.” Rick declares.

“I want to stay too.” Carl suddenly says. “I’m her friend.” He finishes. Rick looks to Lori, as if asking her with his eyes. “Just be careful, okay? She says moving towards Carl. I hadn’t even thought about what Carl was thinking about this all. They had become good friends and he’d lost her too, not just me.

He nods. “I will.” She strokes his head as she brings him into a hug, “When did you start growing up?”

The group begins to leave and I look over at Daryl, who catches my glance and walks up to me. “Be safe, alright.” He almost whispers, touching my arm as he does, speaking once again in his gentler tone. I nod, with a slight arch to my mouth, an attempt at a small smile as he drops his hand and walks off back towards the group.

The four of us we moving around, searching through the woods of the surrounding area of the church. Rick and I in front of Carl and Shane when we hear rustling nearby. We stop at the sound, Rick holding his hand up as I listen and then point in the sound’s direction. We inch forward towards it, when we notice it’s a deer. It moves forward, slowly stepping into the small clearing we were standing in. All of us stand, admiring it, though I aim my gun to shoot it, thinking that would feed us for a mile but Rick softly says my name. I turn to look at him; he nods towards Carl who was looking at it in awe, slowly edging towards it. I lowered my gun as we watched him get closer to the deer. He turned back to us with a smile on his face, Rick and Shane mirroring him, urging him forward which he continues to do so. As he crept closer, I appreciated the moment he was having for a second. The innocence of the moment was a little touching considering all that was happening around us and all that had happened to us. I allowed myself this small moment to enjoy the purity of it. Then it was over in one sharp instant as loud bang echoes and both the deer and Carl falls to the ground.


	5. five

I was up in front. We were running across a field, coming out the woods. Rick was behind me, holding a bleeding Carl is his arms while Shane ran with a man behind us both, to keep him moving. He was a large man so he had trouble keeping up.

“Hey! You move, shithead! Come on, get us there!” Shane shouted behind us at this man who had shot Carl. 

Rick stopped to turn around, causing me to stop too. “How far? How far?!” he screamed, louder on the second.

“Another half mile that way!” Rick and I started off running again as the man continued, stopping and pointing as he caught his breath, Shane staying with him, “Get Hershel. Talk to Hershel. He’ll help your boy.”

I could start to see a large house in the distance of the direction the man had pointed towards as we had started running again. Hershel. He’d said talk to Hershel.

“I’ll run up ahead!” I shout as I take off faster, to get to the house to find the man called Hershel to speed up whatever was going to happen to get Carl the help he needed quicker. I could see someone on the porch of the house, clearly looking to see who we were running up to their house, when they went inside. As I neared the house, a group of people came out the house.

“Hey! We need your help!” I shout, still running towards them.

“Was he bit?” An older man called out, clearly referring to Carl in Rick’s arms coming up behind me.

“Shot by your man.” I state. “Otis?” A woman says. “He said find Hershel. Is that you? Help us please!” I ask as Rick gets closer, coming up behind me calling out to these people.

“Help me! Help me, my boy!” Rick calls, blubbering in hysterics as the older man gestures us inside. 

We follow these people inside the house as the older man, presumably Hershel, starts calling out orders to his people to prep medical supplies for Carl as we enter through into one of the rooms with a bed. Rick lays Carl down as Hershel asks for a pillowcase. Rick just repeatedly asks weakly and stuttering, staring at Carl, if he is alive. I can see that he’s not in fit state to help fully so I grab a pillowcase as Hershel asks for it again. He tells me to fold it, making a pad and apply pressure to the wound while Rick stammers above us. Hershel finds a heartbeat but it’s faint. The older woman tells me to step back, that she’s got it, so she can take over from me. Hershel asks Rick his name but he stutters, staring at Carl, not getting his words out.

“He’s Rick, this is Carl.” I say for him as I move out the way and next to Rick behind the people now attending to Carl. 

“Rick, we’re going to do everything we can, okay? You need to give us some room. Now.” Hershel orders. 

I move Rick away towards the window, out the way when I hear distant yelling and we both look out the window to see the man, Otis, and Shane making their way towards the house, Shane keeping on Otis to move. Rick goes to walk out to meet them, walking a little staggered but I let him go, wanting to stay to keep an eye on Carl. But they come back a couple moments later.

“You know his blood type?” Hershel asks Rick.

“A-positive.” He answers. 

“Same as me.” I state.

“Well, that’s fortunate. Don’t wander far. I’m going to need you. What’s your name miss? You his mother?” Hershel asks.

“Y/N, but I’m not his mother. I’m a friend.” I say.

“Well, Y/N, you’ve just helped me immensely in trying to save Carl here’s life.” Hershel states. “What happened?” he asks, turning to Otis.

“I was tracking a buck. Bullet went through it. went clean through.” He explains.

“The deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved his life. But it did not go through clean. It broke up into pieces. If I can get the bullet fragments out- and I’m counting six.” Hershel clarifies.

“Lori doesn’t know. My wife doesn’t know. My wife doesn’t know.” Rick begins, Shane putting his arm around him; shushing him to comfort him as Rick cries into his hands.

“We’re going to need space here; it’s got too crowded. You all need to leave while we start this.” Hershel demands. Us three and Otis start exiting the room.

“Not you, Y/N. I’m going to need your blood soon, you stay here.” Hershel orders. I look back to Rick and give him a nod in assurance as I close the door.

Hershel and the women around him had started preparing to attempt to get the bullet fragments out. I was stood by the window, out of the way, keeping my distance to give them room to work but I was there for when they needed. It was when Hershel had made an incision to start getting the first fragment out that Carl had woke and began squirming and crying.

“Y/N. He needs blood now, come on.” One of the young girls, Maggie, tells me as Rick and Shane come in the room at the sound of Carl’s cries.

“You. Hold him down.” Hershel demands, looking to Shane as Rick stands over him, holding Carl down while the older woman, Patrica, starts inserting a line into my arm to get my blood. Hershel was going in deeper to retrieve the fragment as Carl turned his cries of pain into screams of agony.

“Stop! You’re killing him!” Rick shouts.

“Rick! Do you want him to live?” Hershel counters as he carries on. Carl then stops crying in pain, falling unconscious.

“Wait, wait, wait-,” Rick starts trailing. “He just passed out.” Hershel states, relieving some of his panic as he finally pulls a fragment out. “One down, five to go.” He says, dropping it into a pan.

Hershel had patched Carl’s incision up and kept him stable, having a line inserted in him feeding him my blood I was giving. I was sat in a chair next to the bed, hooked up as Rick and Shane were stood in the room with us while Hershel finished checking on Carl.

“Lori needs to be here. She doesn’t even know what’s going on. I gotta- I gotta go find her. Bring her back.” He says.

“You can’t do that, Rick.” I start but he cuts me off. “She’s his mother. She needs to know what’s happened. Her son’s lying here shot.” He snaps.

“You need to be here for your son. Even though it’s my blood he needs and not yours, you have to stay here. There’s no way Shane or I are letting you walk out that door. Hell, Shane would probably break your legs if you tried. If anything happened to him and you weren’t here-- if he slipped away while you were gone, you would never forgive yourself for that. And neither would Lori.” I softly explain as tears form in his eyes and he covers his face with his hands.

“She’s right, Rick.” Shane backs. There’s a pause before Rick removes his hands, “Yeah.” He nods, “You’re right.” He agrees, somewhat calmed.

“When am I ever wrong?” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, earning a weak smile from him.

The woman, Patricia, started to unhook me from the line and Shane started talking to Rick about when he was in the hospital and the strength of Lori; what she had in that situation. He told him he had to be like that now, for Carl. They shared a moment of brotherhood, holding each other, foreheads together.

“You got the hard part. You just leave the rest to me, okay?” Shane says. “Alright.” Rick whispers. “Alright.” Shane repeats.

Hershel lightly clears his throat, getting our attention and grabbing the guys out of their moment. “He’s out of danger for the moment, but I need to remove those remaining fragments.” He started.

“How? You saw how he was.” I questioned.

“I know, and that was the shallowest one. I need to go deeper to get the others.” He explains, Rick pinching his eyes. “There’s more. His belly’s distended, his pressure’s dropping. Which means there’s internal bleeding. A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels. I have to open him up, find the bleeder, and stitch it. And he can’t move while I’m in there. I mean at all. If he reacts the same as before, I’ll sever an artery and he’ll be dead in minutes. To even try this, I have to put him under. But if I do, he won’t be able to breath on his own. Same bad result.” Hershel fully explains, the worry in Rick’s face growing as he talked.

“What’ll it take?” he asks.

“You need a respirator, right? What else?” I question.

“The tube that goes with it. Extra surgical supplies- drapes, sutures.” Hershel answers.

“If you had all that, you could save him?” Rick asks.

“If I had all that, I could try.” Hershel states.

“Nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago. The high school-,” Otis begins.

“That’s what I was thinking. They set up a FEMA shelter there. They would have everything we need.” Hershel confirms.

“The place was overrun last time I saw it. You couldn’t get near it. Maybe it’s better now.” Otis points out.

“I said leave the rest to me. Is it too late to take that back?” Shane teases.

“I hate you going alone.” Rick argues.

“Come on.” He aims at Rick, to give over. He turns to Otis. “Why don’t you do me a list. Draw me a map.”

“You won’t need a map. I’ll take you there. Ain’t but five miles.” He says. “Otis, no-,” Patricia protests, who appeared to be his partner, “Honey, we don’t have time for guesswork, and I’m responsible. I ain’t gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone. I’ll be alright.” He assures her.

“Are you sure about that?” Shane questions.

“You even know what any of the stuff he’s talking about looks like?” Otis asks Shane.

“Come to think, no.” he replies.

“I’ve been a volunteer EMT. I do. Now we can talk about this till next Sunday, or we could just go do it real quick.” Otis declares.

“I’ll take right quick.” Shane states.

“I should thank you.” Rick says.

“Wait till that boy of yours is up and around, then we’ll talk. I’ll gather some things.” He replies, walking of to get ready to leave as one of the younger girls, Maggie moves towards Rick. “Where is she? Your wife? She asks.

“She’s with others in our group. They’re in the woods. They should be following a creek, heading back towards the highway, where we’ve got a couple more people.” Rick answers.

“Alright, I’m gonna go find her. Bring her back here.” She says and heads towards the front door. “Lori. Lori Grimes. That’s her name.” Rick calls out to her. She nods and leaves the house.


	6. six

Shane and Otis had left for the high school a while ago. We were waiting for both them and Maggie to return back to the house. I’d stayed with Carl in the room, keeping an eye on him, as the others had helped Shane and Otis ready for their run. I had only come out to see them off. Rick had given Otis his gun for extra protection. Once they’d left, I went back into the room with the others. 

I had fallen asleep by the time Maggie had rode back with Lori behind her on the horse. I didn’t know they’d arrived until I was woken in the room. I had fallen asleep in the chair next to Carl’s bed, tired from the day but also lightheaded from the blood I had given, sending me off into the sleep regardless. I’d woken slightly startled as Rick brought Lori into the room. She looked at Carl, then to me but rapidly back to Carl as tears were in her eyes; she then moved and joined him on the bed, laying next to him, whispering into his ear as Rick crouched beside her, holding her hand. They stayed like that for a while, until Hershel and Patricia came back in to do another blood transfusion. 

Patricia disconnected me from the line and I tried to get up but stumbled, Lori telling me to go slow, ushering me back into the chair.

“I’m fine.” I say.

“How many transfusions?” she asked.

“Two. Only two.” I dismiss. She looks at me with a look only a mother would give to her child and I scoff, with a smirk at her expression. She smiles. 

“I find myself thanking you yet again Y/N. I can’t thank you enough for helping my boy. I mean, Rick, now Carl. I guess I’m gonna be thanking you for helping me someday.” She chuckles.

“Mm, the Grimes’ guardian angel.” We laugh, Rick too. “Let’s just hope a day doesn’t come when you need my help. I don’t know if I’ll make the next one.” I smile, which they both return. 

“Anything on Sophia?” I ask. Her smile fades, shaking her head as Hershel walks in with a glass of juice for me. 

“Got you some juice to help your sugar and blood levels, Y/N. Help you refuel, in case we need you again. Here.” He says, handing me the glass then turning to Rick and Lori asking to discuss what’s happening with them outside. They leave as I sip the juice slowly from the glass. Feeling lightheaded again from the transfusion, I close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep again as I sat next to Carl. Not wanting to think about how his life is hanging by a thread as we speak but mostly, and albeit more selfishly, about how Sophia was still out there on her own in the woods. They hadn’t found her while they were out still looking. I wondered where she could be and if she was okay. I hoped she was. She had to be, and we’d get her back safe and sound because if we didn’t, I don’t know what I’d do. 

The others had come back in later, waking me from a sleep again. I saw that it was now dark outside, rather than the array of colours the sunset was providing earlier before I fell asleep. I noticed Shane and Otis still hadn’t come back which was extremely worrying. Hershel examined Carl again, measuring his blood pressure.

“Pressure’s dropping again. We can’t wait much longer.” he states.

“Take some more. Whatever he needs and then I’ll go.” I insist as I stand with the slightest of wobbles.

“You can’t go, Y/N, not li-,” Rick starts. “And neither can you. You both have to stay here for Carl, so I’ll go.” I interject.

“Go? Go where?” Lori asks.

“They said five miles. They should be long back by now.” I point out.

“Something’s gone wrong. Y/N you can’t go, not like this. If I don’t go, then-,” Rick declares. 

“Are you insane? You’re not going after them.” Lori says.

“Rick, listen to your wife. You too Y/N. You’re in no condition to do anything about it. you’ve given too much blood. You’re barely on your feet. You wouldn’t make it across the yard.” Hershel explains, trying to reason with Rick and shutting me down.

“If they got into trouble- if something happened- I-I have to go-,” Rick argues.

“No. Your place is here. If Shane said he’ll be back, he’ll be back. He’s like you in that way.” Lori counters.

“I can’t just sit here-,” Rick starts. 

“That’s exactly what you do!” Lori shouts. 

“You told me that while Sophia was out there. Still is. Now you’re gonna have to do the same thing.” I add.

“Exactly. If you need to pray or cry or tell God he’s cruel, you go right ahead. But you’re not leaving Rick. Carl needs you. Here. And I can’t do this by myself. Not this one. I can’t. I can’t.” Lori snaps, breaking into a light sob by the end.

Rick stands down and embraces Lori, both standing there holding each other as they sob over their boy.


	7. seven

It had been hours since Shane and Otis left. It was even later in the evening now and they still weren’t back. We were still in the room with Carl. I hadn’t left since we got there earlier that day. The others were urging me to eat and drink, to keep my strength up. I just hoped they got back soon. Losing Sophia out in the woods, not knowing where she is and now this, with Carl. I don’t think I could take losing another kid in the space of two days. They had to get back. 

Glenn and T-Dog had arrived at the farm, coming into the room with Carl. The pity and sadness at Carl’s state all over their faces. T-Dog didn’t look so great. That wound on his arm must have gotten worse, maybe infected. Good job they got him here. They say that they’re here for whatever Rick and Lori need, before Maggie ushers them out to take care of them. Hershel takes a look at Carl’s abdomen, pulling the sheet back to see that it was getting worse and worse, swelling and discolouring from the internal bleeding. He’d said that if Shane and Otis didn’t get back soon they’d have to decide whether to operate without the respirator or not; they couldn’t wait much longer.

Later, Hershel and I were in the room when Carl woke, squirming in the bed coughing, panicked at the situation he had woke to. Rick and Lori had come rushing in after hearing his coughs from outside as I moved forward to him, behind them. Lori crouched by his bedside as Rick and I stood behind.

“Where are we?” Carl questioned.

“Hey, little man. That’s Hershel. We’re in his house. You had an accident, alright?” Rick explains.

“It hurts a lot.” He announced. “Oh, baby I know.” Lori comforts.

“You should have seen it.” Carl declared weakly. “What?” Lori asked. “The deer. It was so pretty, Mom. It was so close. I’ve never been-,” he had continued until he suddenly stopped, going eerily still, the life from his eyes seemed to disappear in a second.

“Carl?” Rick quietly called. “What’s happening?” Lori questions as all of a sudden he begins seizing.

“No, it’s a seizure. If you hold him down, you could hurt him.” Hershel explains.

“You can’t stop it?” Lori frantically asks.

“Lori, he has to just go through it.” I say as Rick and her embrace, her sobbing into his chest as we just watch Carl ride through his seizure until he stopped. Hershel checks him over quickly.

“His brain’s isn’t getting enough blood. His pressure’s bottoming. He needs another transfusion.” He states.

“Okay, I’m ready.” I say.

“Y/N, if I take any more out of you, your body could shut down. You could go into a coma or cardiac arrest.” He claimed.

“Just do it. You can take some more, I’ll be fine. We’re wasting time.” I insisted as Hershel looked unsure but gathered the equipment to set up the line.

As sat in the chair, I felt weak and felt myself becoming more lightheaded than before but I kept myself awake. For Carl and Sophia. I didn’t talk, I just listened to Rick and Lori. Rick spoke of the deer. How Carl talked about something living, something beautiful, instead of talking about getting shot or the church when he woke up. Before he went into his seizure I had thought how precious that moment was to him and how innocent he was to have thought about that above anything else when he woke. He was special. He was brave. Rick carried on saying that there was still a place out there for us all, maybe one like this. That it wasn’t all death out there and we had to be strong enough to see that and make it that way. Lori was quietly sobbing listening to him when Rick seemed to repeat a question that she most likely asked him at some point out of the room, tears in his eyes.

“Why is it better for Carl to live even in this world? He talked about the deer, Lori. He talked about the deer.” Rick finished. They both remained quiet as we all watched over Carl.

Hershel had come back in, shortly after disconnecting me from the line, checking Carl again.

“He’s still losing blood faster than we can replace it. And with the swelling in his abdomen, we can’t wait any longer, or he’s just going to slip away. Now I need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time.” There’s a small pause as Rick and Lori say nothing. “You have to make a choice.” Hershel adds. They look at each other, faces inches apart as they whisper between themselves when Lori states, “We do it.”

Everything seemed to turn into double speed. Hershel and Patricia had started gathering the supplies. They brought in a surgery table on wheels to transfer Carl onto and they prepared themselves to begin the surgery. 

“Rick, Lori you may want to step out.” Hershel urged. “I’ll stay with them. With him.” I said, to which they nod just as the sound of truck pulling up to the house comes into earshot. I move over to the window, Rick and Lori behind, seeing Otis’ truck approaching. Rick and Lori start off rushing to get outside as Hershel and I go to follow, he instructs Patricia to stay with Carl. Glenn, T-Dog and the others join as we come outside to meet Shane but no Otis. Something clearly did happen. As I feel someone hold me steady, looking to see it was Maggie as I must have been swaying coming outside, I notice Shane has a limp. 

“Carl?” Shane panted, limping towards us. “There’s still a chance.” Rick answers as Hershel and Glenn take the bags of equipment from Shane. Hershel seems to briefly look around for Otis.

“Otis?” he questions. Shane shakes his head. There’s a moment of silence. “We say nothing to Patricia, not till after- I need her.” He orders, taking off into the house with Glenn and the equipment.

Rick and Shane shared an emotional embrace, when they broke Shane started to explain how they got blocked at every turn by walkers. They were down to ten rounds and Otis had said he’d cover him, that he should keep going so that’s what he did. He was stuttering. Saying he tried. Otis clearly had given him his escape at the sacrifice of his own life. Lori comforted Maggie’s side while I stood on the other side of her as she still had hold of me, even in her sadness and tears falling down.

“He wanted to make it right.” Rick comforts a distressed looking Shane. But I couldn’t help but notice that he had come back with Rick’s gun that was given to Otis. Sure, I was a bit dazed and lightheaded, but I still noticed and wondered how it was a little strange but dismissed soon after as we started to disperse, some of us back inside, while most of us stayed and waited outside. I sat on the porch chair, the night air feeling nice after being inside for so long.

After a while, Hershel came outside, with the others behind him from the house. He approached Rick and Lori, sitting on the steps as we all stood and moved towards his direction.

“He seems to have stabilised.” Hershel announces, Rick and Lori sighing in relief, smiling, embracing and thanking him. Carl would be alright. Thank god. At least one of them would be fine. It was just Sophia now. 

“How do I tell Patricia about Otis?” he asks.

“You go to Carl.” Rick directs to Lori. “I’ll go with Hershel.” He finishes.

The next morning, while the others were collecting rocks for Otis’ burial and funeral, Rick, Lori and I were with Carl, who was only now just waking up after his surgery last night. Hershel had said his fever was going down, a great sign, when Carl had started to stir and wake up, Rick and Lori pouncing to his bed side, softly saying his name urging him out of his unconsciousness. 

“Sophia? Is she okay?” he questioned weakly after he opened his eyes, seeing us all. Tears formed in my eyes at his first word he uttered. The ordeal he’d just been through and his thoughts was about Sophia. This boy was precious. We had to keep him this way; not let him be spoiled by this world. I just hoped Sophia would get the same chance.

“Fine. She’s fine.” Rick assured which I understood. He didn’t need to be worried or scared as soon as he woke. “Rest. We’ll be right here, okay?” Lori added. “Okay.” He whispered and closed his eyes to sleep. Rick turned to me and placed his hand on my shoulder in comfort as T-Dog came into the room. “They’re here.” Referring to the group and that’s when I heard the purr of Daryl’s bike in the distance approaching. We went outside to greet them, finding everyone had gathered outside the house to greet the rest of the group arriving. Rick and Lori walked down the steps of the porch towards them as I stayed standing at the steps, leaning against a pillar, still feelings a little weak.

“How is he?” Dale asked, worry on his face.

“He’ll pull through. Thanks to Hershel and his people and-,” Lori began.

“And Shane and Y/N. We’d have lost Carl if not for him getting the supplies just in time and Y/N keeping him holding out, giving just about damn near all her blood.” He finished looking to Shane and then to me, the others following his looks. Dale and Carol brought Rick and Lori into an embrace as I called out to them.

“How’d it happen?” Dale asked.

“Hunting accident. That’s all. Just a stupid accident.” Rick answered.

“Anything on Sophia?” looking to Daryl, who pitifully shook his head. I slumped down to a sit on the steps of the porch, deflated as the others carried on greeting each other as we were all reunited again. Except of course, Sophia. Daryl approached me, standing in front of me at the steps.

“You alright? You don’t look so good.” he asked.

“Fine. Give me the morning and I’ll be back to it.” I said.

“She gave a lot of blood. More than anyone should give in the period of time. She needs to eat and rest.” Maggie stated from behind. “I’ve got to start looking for Sophia again now Carl’s alright. I’ll be fine after the funeral.” I retorted bringing myself to a stand, to walk over to the others as Rick told them about the service for Otis. Carol brought me into an embrace, as did Andrea and Dale before we all started making our way over to the place of the burial for Otis.

Hershel was leading the service for Otis. Maggie comforting a crying Patricia. People were going over as he spoke, placing a rock on the grave in memorial. Hershel had asked Shane to speak for Otis, being the one who was last with him, though he dismissed it, claiming not to be good at the kind of thing.

“You shared his final moments. Please. I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning.” Patricia sobbed. Shane hesitated but eventually began to speak, slowly, as he recalled what had happened, commemorating Otis.

“We were about done. We down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen up. We gotta save the boy. See, that’s what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. Run, he said. Said I-I’ll take the rear. I’ll cover you. And when I looked back--,” he paused. Then limped over to the barrow of rocks, picking one up. “If not for Otis, I’d never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning it was his. He finished as he placed a rock on the grave.

His words seemed genuine and he looked sincerely saddened by what had happened, but I couldn’t help but think back to the gun again. He’d said that they were down to the pistols at the end and that Otis had said he’d cover him, taking the rear. But Shane came back with both his own and Rick’s pistol, the one Otis was using. If he were covering Shane, why would he have given the pistol to him? It made me wonder if perhaps there was something Shane was missing from his story. But it wasn't exactly the time to mention something like that.


	8. eight

“How long’s your girl been lost?” Hershel asked me, along with some of the others.

“This’ll be day three.” I replied, as Maggie approached the vehicle we were standing at with a map, placing it on the bonnet.

“County survey map. Shows terrain and elevations.” Maggie said, rolling the map out.

“This is perfect. We can finally get this thing organised.” Rick said. 

“We can grid the whole area. Start searching in teams.” I pointed out.

“Not you. Not today. You gave three units of blood. You wouldn’t be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out.” Hershel directed to me. “And your ankle. Push it now, you’ll be laid up a month. No good to anybody.” He said to Shane. “Plus, your boy only just woke up not long ago this morning, he’s stable but he’s still got a ways to go. You should stay here.” He finished, aimed at Rick.

“So what’s the point of us all standing around here trying to make a plan, if you were just gonna veto us all out of doing anything today. I’ve been out in this heat all morning and I’m fine. I can go out looking and I won’t be hiking, I’ll be walking, taking it slow. I’m going, I have to.” I snap.

“Y/N he’s right. We need a moment to recalibrate. Get our heads together and take the day to plan this thing out.” Rick counters but I don’t retaliate, instead thinking what it is I’m going to do so Rick can’t talk me out of it.

“Guess it’s just me then. I’m gonna head back to the creek. Work my way from there.” Daryl states. 

“We can still be useful. Drive up to the interstate. See if Sophia wandered back.” Shane pointed out.

“Alright. Tomorrow then. We’ll start doing this right.” Rick declares.

“That means we can’t have our people out there with just knives. They need the gun training we’ve been promising ‘em.” Shane says.

Hershel mentions that he doesn’t want us carrying guns around on his property, that they’d gotten this far without them. Shane wasn’t happy with the idea, protesting but Rick shuts him down saying we were to respect Hershel’s wishes seeing as it was farm we were guests on. He places his gun on the bonnet, looking to Shane for him to do the same to show they meant it. He reluctantly does so.

“First things first. Set camp. Find Sophia.” Rick declares. 

“Y/N, I hate to be the one to ask and in front you, but somebody’s got to. What happens if we find her and she’s bit. I think we should all be clear on how we handle it.” Shane asks. At first I just stare, not knowing what to say. I didn’t want to think like that. She was alive and well. She had to be and I had to think that way or I would lose it. I see Rick looking at me and turn to face him, a sad look on his face.

“You do what has to be done.” He says sombrely, looking down as I walk off away from the group.

I tuck myself away from the eyes of the group as they begin to disperse, starting their chores around the farm, setting camp among other things. I waited to see Daryl walk by to head into the woods, my plan to join him no matter what Hershel and Rick had said. When I spotted him, crossbow strapped across his back, I strode after him but waited until we were in the woods to call out for him, hopefully making it more difficult for him to tell me no.

“Daryl!” I called, once we in the cover of the woods, causing him to turn.

“What you doing following me? Shouldn’t you be setting camp with the rest of ‘em.” He stated, his softer tone gone. Although, I wasn’t bothered, I was tired of the pity from everyone.

“She’s been out there alone nearly three days. I’m not sitting around waiting any longer, even if things get in the way or I’m told not to.” I retaliate.

“Nah. I don’t need your ass passing out on me, just so I gotta carry it back to camp.” He says.

“I won’t, I’m fine. I’ve been walking around all morning. Look, I’ll take it easy but you’re not stopping me from coming, Daryl.” I reply, walking up to him, passing him by. I heard him sigh as he began to catch up to me.

We’d been searching the woods for a while and still nothing. In all honesty, she could have been anywhere by now. Three days was a long time. Especially for a missing kid. I could feel my sense of hope faltering the more the time went on.

“Where do you think she could be? We haven’t even found one sign of her yet anywhere.” I asked, after what had been a while of silence apart from the occasional check up from Daryl if I was alright. He may have a rough appearance and persona but he cared beneath it all.

“It ain’t the Mountains of Tibet. It’s Georgia. She could be holed off in a farmhouse somewhere. People get lost and they survive. It happens all the time, alright.” Daryl replies.

“Maybe, before. She’s just a kid, alone.” I point out.

“Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost. Nine days in the woods eating berries, wiping my ass with poison oak.” He retorts.

“They found you?” I ask.

“My old man was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doing another stint in juvy. Didn’t even know I was gone. I made my way back, though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear, except my ass itched something awful.” He explained, earning a laugh from me at his comment at the end of the story. “Sorry.” I said but chuckled some more, “I’m sorry, that is a terrible story.” I finish with a smile, hearing a small chuckle from Daryl, looking over to see him smile too. Something I hadn’t really seen him do, it was warming. He had made me smile and laugh during all this and I appreciated that. Even if only for a moment. 

“The difference is, Sophia’s got people looking for her. I’d call that an advantage.” He said and I supposed he had a point, she had a whole group of people searching for her, one that cared for her.

We carried on through the woods, when we hear rustling. We creep along, following the noise, finding a small camp, much like the first we had found few days back. The rustling seemed to be coming from up in tree. As we rounded the area, we saw that the noise was a walker hanging from the tree, someone else who had ‘opted out’. It’s leg appeared to have been gnawed at.

“What the hell?” Daryl said as we approached it. I clocked a note on the tree, nudging him, pointing to it. He walked up to read it. “Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit.” He scoffs. “Dumbass didn’t know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait. And a mess.” The smell and topic of conversation wasn’t exactly helping my already weakened state. I groaned as I felt a little ill from both the swinging walker and Daryl’s words, hunched over.

“You alright?” Daryl asks, hearing me groan, turning around.

“Mmhmm, trying not to puke.” I answered.

“Go ahead if you gotta.” He said, turning back to look at the hanging walker.

“No, I’m fine. Let’s just talk about something else for a minute. How’d you learn to shoot?” I asked, still hunched over trying not to vomit. The walker’s groans and movements getting a little louder and bigger.

“Gotta eat. That’s one thing these walkers and us have in common. I guess it’s the closest he’s been to food since he turned. Look at him, hanging up there like a big pinata. The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs.” Daryl described, despite my asking not to but I stopped him as I threw up a little. I rise back up, wiping my mouth.

“I thought we were changing the subject.” I say, looking over to him seeing he was smirking. “Call that payback for laughing at my itchy ass.” He joked. “Funny.” I replied with a scoff. “There wasn’t a lot that came up.” I then stated. 

He looked me up and down ever so slightly. “Come on, we should get going, get you back before you keel over and get me an earful. Imma head back out once you’re back anyway. So don’t worry, I’ll be looking for her alright.” He declares, touching my arm to get me moving. It was clearly obvious I was not doing great. I should have listened to Hershel; I wasn’t ready to come out. After puking, I did feel like I was gonna pass out and after Daryl’s words, I felt content to leave him to do his thing.


	9. nine

After Daryl had brought me back, Rick had approached us, giving me an earful and sending me over to Hershel for him to check me over, while Daryl headed back out saying he’d be back before dark. Hershel then did the same, burning my ears off same as Rick as he made me eat and drink something. He’d then told me to come with him, saying he wanted to show me something.

Hershel had drove me out somewhere. It was on his land, but still quite far from the house. He’d told me that he had brought Rick here earlier, giving him the same talk but concluding what he said didn’t really get through to him how he wanted and he thought that perhaps I needed to hear it too. Out the car, we walked towards the edge of a clearing, looking over at an area of fielded and woodland landscape.

“Y/N, take a moment. Just look.” He ordered. “That’s something, isn’t it? he pointed out at the view. “It’s good to pause for an occasional reminder.”

“Of what?” I asked.

“Whatever comes to mind. For me, it’s often God. No thoughts on that?” he countered.

“I haven’t had the best experiences in my life. So, I never really believed in any of that. I’ve never asked God for a favour because I believed and learnt early on that you had to make things happen for yourself, and stop the bad yourself. Anyway, the last time I stopped to admire a view a boy got shot.” I replied.

“Your story. Your experiences you say you had that weren’t the best, I assume you’ve been through some trauma. But you’re here. You got through whatever they were and came out of it somehow. You did not feel God’s hand in yours?” He explained.

I scoffed. “In those moments, no. I did not. No one helped me, but me. And sometimes even I couldn’t, so no one did.” I stated.

“So, you fought your way through hardship, with that girl too I might add, and you survived. You both did. That tells you nothing?” he elaborates.

“Well, to put someone through all the hardships they’ve faced, to survive it all, as you say, to then put all this crap on the world and finally let a child, my sister, go missing. Tells me God’s got a strange sense of humour.” I answer and then walk back to the car.

When we get back to the farmhouse, I spot Shane and Andrea getting in a car when they clock me getting out Hershel’s car, they stop, Shane calling out to me from the car door. They were headed for the highway. Said they were looking for me to join and I don’t hesitate to hop from one car to another.

On the highway, at the spot the RV was, where Sophia had been chased off from, we made a sign on a nearby car. Writing a sign on the car’s windscreen saying ‘Sophia stay here we will come everyday’ and leaving some food and drink on the bonnet for her in case she came back this way. I stared at the car once we’d finished and been stood there for a moment, just thinking about how we’d got to this point. 

“We’ll come again tomorrow.” Andrea said, coming up behind me placing her hand on my back in comfort as I stood in silence. “You know, there’s always the chance-,” she started. 

“Don’t. I really don’t need to hear it anyone, Andrea. Save the thoughts and prayers.” I interjected, having heard enough of people’s attempts at comfort. I didn’t want people’s thoughts and prayers, I wanted people to help look for her. Andrea stood back and started to walk back to our car, when Shane piped up.

“You never know, Y/N.” he began but I waved my hand and arm up to gesture to him to shut up, I really didn’t want to hear it from anyone, especially him and he limped back to the car.

I didn’t want to be around anyone, the day putting me in a foul mood. I wanted to keep looking for Sophia, but my body was protesting, I was tired, I felt weak and was annoyed because of all of it. So, I kept myself tucked away in the RV, finally resting as Hershel had initially instructed. Although, I wanted to keep my mind off things, so I started tidying up the inside of the RV, cleaning it up. But I ended up just laying back down when I was done, back to doing nothing, twiddling my thumbs, trying my hardest to sleep.

A little later, I heard someone come into the RV and I perched myself up into a sit anticipating their approach as Daryl came into view, raising his eyebrows a little and looking back to the tidied RV as if in question.

“I cleaned up. Wanted to keep my hands busy, you know. Anyway, it’d be nice for her to come back to it like this.” I said perceiving his thoughts.

He nodded. “For a second I thought I was in the wrong place.” He joked, his gentle voice back, but I didn’t manage much of a smile, the mood of the day hanging on me. He then placed a beer bottle on a table surface, that held a beautiful white flower. “A flower?” I questioned, in confusion.

“It’s a Cherokee Rose,” he said, but continued when seeing I didn’t know why he’d brought it back. “The story is that when American soldiers were moving the Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much because they were losing their little ones along the way- exposure and disease and starvation- a lot of ‘em just disappeared. So the elders they uh, said a prayer. Asked for a sign to uplift the mother’s spirits. Give ‘em strength. Hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mother’s tears fell.” There was a slight pause as he adjusted his stance, looking down but quickly back up again while tears started to form in my eyes. “I’m not fool enough to think there’s any flowers blooming for my brother. But uh, I believe this one bloomed for your little sister.” He explained. 

I wiped my tears from my cheeks, giving him a small smile of appreciation for the kind gesture as I sniffled. Everyone had been saying the same things with the same look of hopeless pity on their faces when trying to comfort me but not Daryl. He seemed to be the only one who knew what to say and how and when to say it. He appeared to be the only one truly hell bent, same as me, to find Sophia. Even though he hadn’t come back with Sophia, he didn’t come back empty-handed, he’d brought me back a symbol of hope. He had turned to leave but stopped, slowing spinning back.

“She’s gonna really like it in here.” He said and before he could turn back to leave I got up to hug him. I stood in front of him and pushed my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his shoulder. I felt him hesitate and tense at the encounter, his arms hoovering for a second slightly out at his sides, but he soon brought them around and rested them against me, his hands on my back, relaxing into it. I could tell the embrace was clearly a little foreign to him at his reaction, but it just made me want to hold it for longer. He eventually quietly cleared his throat and I let go not wanting to make him feel any more uncomfortable than he may already be feeling. I pull out of the hug and wipe my cheeks, smiling at him. “Thank you.” I whisper. He gives me a little nod in reply and turns to leave, walking out the RV.


	10. ten

It was a new day. I’d woke up feeling a lot better than the previous day. I felt strong and hopeful. Daryl had clearly put the spring back in my step after his thoughtful gesture which I had stared at until I fell asleep in the RV, soundly until I woke the following morning. 

Today we were finally going to coordinate the search for Sophia. I had joined Rick, who called for the others to come map out the plan over at the car bonnet.

“Alright. Everyone’s getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we’ve been so far.” Rick started explaining.

“I’d like to help. I know the area pretty well and stuff.” The teenage boy interrupted, named Jimmy.

“Hershel’s okay with this?” Rick asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, uh. He said I should ask you.” Jimmy replied, not sounding convincing at all to me but Rick seemed to go for it and I figured the more people, the more the ground was covered. “Alright then. Thanks.” Rick said.

“Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me. Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse.” Shane said, as I glared at him, getting tired of his comments.

“Anybody includes her, right?” I snap.

“Whoever slept in that cupboard is no bigger that yay high.” Daryl says gesturing the height, matching Sophia’s. “Good lead.” I say.

“Maybe we’ll pick up her trail again.” Rick adds.

“No maybe about it. I’m gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, get a bird’s eye view of the whole grid. If she’s up there, I’ll spot her.” Daryl declares as Dale brings over the bag of guns.

“Good idea. Maybe you’ll see your Chupacabra up there too.” T-Dog jokes.

“Chupacabra?” I question with a smirk.

“Oh, you never heard this? The first night we camped, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a Chupacabra.” Dale explains as he hands over some guns over to Rick and some on the bonnet. I smile at the story, trying to cover it as Jimmy snickers.

“What are you braying at, jackass?” Daryl asks him, causing his face to drop.

“So you believe in a blood-sucking dog?” Rick teases.

“Do you believe dead people walking around?” Daryl retaliates. “Touché.” I chuckle, looking to Rick as Jimmy goes to grab a gun off the car bonnet.

“Hey, hey. Ever fire one before?” Rick stops him, asking. 

“Well, if I’m going out, I want one.” Jimmy says.

“Yeah, people in hell want slurpees.” Daryl jokes bluntly, making me smirk at the teasing this kid was getting, as he walks off to get a horse.

“Why don’t you come train tomorrow? If you’re serious, I’m a certified instructor.” Shane asks but he doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“For now, he can come with us.” I say as I grab a gun.

“He’s yours to babysit then.” Shane retorts.

We were scaling the woods in our grids in pairs, except for Andrea and T-Dog who had Jimmy with them. I was with Glenn, working our way through our grid, not coming across much at all, marking the trees with our coloured markers, marking our grid we searched. I had noticed that he couldn’t stop smiling all morning and had been the same for half of the day yesterday after he’d come back from his run with Maggie. So, I’d put two and two together.

“So, you gonna spill why you’ve been so chipper since yesterday?” I ask, trying to coax him to come clean.

“What? What you mean?” he questioned, clearly avoiding the inevitable.

“Well yesterday and this morning you had a smile from ear to ear around camp. Doesn’t have anything to do with Maggie does it?” I smirk at him as he looks at me stuttering to form an answer. I chuckled at him “Come on, don’t try to form a bullshit answer, just spill it.” I say.

“Alright. Well, the thing is. She started off being mean to me. Then she wanted to have sex with me. And now she’s being mean to me again.” He starts to explain. 

I chuckle. “Alright, let’s just take this back a step. That doesn’t sound like something to smile so much about unless you actually slept with her. Did you?” I ask and his face tells me he did, wearing a slight cheeky grin.

“Oh god, there it is.” We snicker. 

“Okay, I just gotta say, did it ever occur to you how her father might feel about this?” I ask. 

“She’s 22.” He says.

“And he is our host. And not to mention kinda religious. He might not appreciate you shacking up with his daughter.” I smirk.

“He doesn’t know.” He replies.

“Well, maybe see that it stays that way. For all our sakes.” We smile at each other. “And as for her being ‘mean’.” I air quote. “I wouldn’t worry too much about that. If she had sex with you Glenn, a part of her has got to like you.” I reassure him. 

“Although, I can’t imagine why.” I joke, nudging his arm. “Thanks.” He says, rolling his eyes as I laugh.

We’d looked for a long while through our grid and found nothing, so we eventually turned and headed back to the farmhouse. When we got back, Glenn went off, I presumed to find Maggie as I looked for Rick. I’d be talking to him in camp, asking if they’d found anything or anyone as we were the last ones back, but no one had. We were thinking up some plans and talking about tomorrow’s gun training when Andrea, from on top of the RV on watch, shouted.

“Walker! Walker!”

Rick and I moved towards the RV, trying to look into the distance at it. “Just the one?” I asked, Andrea moving to look through the binoculars.

“I bet I can nail it from here.” She states going to grab the rifle.

“No, no. Andrea. Put the gun down.” Rick ordered and she lowered the gun as the guys armed themselves with weapons and I unsheathed my sword. 

“You’d best let us handle this.” Shane said.

“Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers.” Rick declared.

“What for, man? We got it covered.” Shane counted, carrying a pickaxe heading towards the walker that had emerged out the treeline. Rick had gone to grab his weapon while I went on with Shane, T-Dog and Glenn, starting off into a run when Rick neared behind us.

As we drew closer to the walker, I came to a stop, the others too, Rick pulling his gun on the walker as I suddenly clocked the crossbow being pulled along behind the walker. I then focused on it properly and realised it was Daryl. He was covered in mud and blood, staggering about as if he were one of them. I panicked at the sheer thought of seeing him before me like this, a walker.

“Is that Daryl?” I heard Glenn question worriedly behind me. There was a pause before suddenly Daryl spoke.

“That’s the third time you pointed that thing at my head.” He snapped and I sighed a huge breath of relief. “You gonna pull the trigger or what?” he continued. Rick lowered his gun and suddenly a gunshot echoed; Daryl fell to the ground and blood sprayed from his head as he did.

“No!” I screamed running towards Daryl. “No! Stop!” I heard Rick shout back to camp, no doubt to Andrea who had taken the shot, despite Rick’s orders not to shoot.

I checked Daryl over who moved a little as I came over him. He was alive. Thank god. I saw the bullet had just missed him, grazing his head. I started helping him to his feet, Rick assisting as I could hear people from the house shouting coming out of the house at the sound of the shot and shouting.

“I was kidding.” Daryl weakly spat as we got him to his feet; he passed out not five seconds later.

We were supporting his weight, his arms over our shoulders, carrying him back towards camp as Andrea and Dale come running over.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Is he dead?” she called out, distressed nearing tears at what she’d done.

“Unconscious. You just grazed him.” Rick replied.

“What the hell was that? Rick told you stand down, you almost killed him!” I barked at her, but she stutters, trying to formulate a response. “Save it.” I spat.

“Guys, isn’t this Sophia’s?” T-Dog calls out from behind us. We turn to see what he’s talking about and I spot he’s holding her toy lion that Doc had got her years ago. She carried it with her everywhere.

“Where’d you get that?” I questioned.

“It was tucked in his belt.” He answered.

“Come on. We gotta get him to Hershel, we’ll discuss it after.” Rick urgently presses as we turn back, heading towards the house.


	11. eleven

“I found it washed up om a creek bed right there. She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere.” Daryl explained, as Hershel stitched him up, pointing on the map we had laid out in front of him on the bed. 

He’d said he got thrown from the horse and fell down into the creek from a tall height and one of his arrows had gone straight through his side and he bashed his head on the rocks, both of which needed stitches. I was thrilled he had found something. Finally, a sign of Sophia but I was more than a little concerned at the state he had returned in from retrieving it.

“Cuts the grid almost in half.” Rick says, looking to me and Shane. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome.” Daryl replies.

“How’s he looking?” I ask Hershel. 

“I had no idea I would be going through the antibiotics so quickly.” Hershel started as Rick and I shared a look of, not guilt, but close enough to it. “Any idea what happened to my horse?” he asked Daryl.

“Yeah, the one that almost killed me? If it’s smart, it left the country.” He shot back.

“We call that one Nelly, as in Nervous Nelly. I could’ve told you she would throw you if you’d bothered to ask. It’s a wonder you people have survived this long.” Hershel counters, annoyance in his tone. We didn’t respond.

He’d asked us to leave while he finished stitching and wrapping Daryl up. Lori had been waiting outside. Rick reassured her that Daryl was fine, but I didn’t stick around for the rest of the conversation. Shane was awfully quiet in there and had seemed annoyed around camp beforehand, so I didn’t want to have to hear whatever it was that was on his mind, no doubt something to do with Sophia that would rile me up.

Lori and Carol, with the help of the Maggie, Patricia and Beth, Maggie’s younger sister, had been cooking in the kitchen most of the afternoon for everyone to have dinner together. It was a thank you to Hershel and his people for everything they’d done for us. So, not long after Daryl was patched up, we were all coming in to sit for dinner inside the house. But, as we ate, it was silent. Awkwardly so. No spoke, everyone just sat and ate their food. To be honest, I couldn’t wait to finish my meal and get out of there.

When I’d finished my meal, I took the opportunity to take a plate of the dinner up for Daryl. No waiting for others to finish. When I got to the room and opened the door, his back towards me and the sheet at his waist, I noticed all the scars that decorated his back. I hadn’t clocked them earlier when Hershel was stitching him up, too preoccupied with what he had to say about where he’d found Sophia’s toy and what had happened. The scars littered his back, no doubt they went round to his front too I thought. It didn’t take long to figure he clearly didn’t have the best upbringing. Me and him both I thought. I had the scars to prove it too. I started to think we had more in common than I thought when he moved the sheet up covering his upper body at the sound of someone opening the door, turning his head to see who it was.

“How you feeling?” I asked as I entered whilst holding the tray of his food and drink.

“’Bout as good as I look.” He answered, turning his head back as I put the tray down.

“I brought you some dinner. You must be starving.” I said.

He turned back to see the dinner and then looked to me. Catching both him and me by surprise, I leaned over bringing my face near his and he slightly flinched as I got close. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the closeness catching him off guard or the fact I was near his head stitches but it caused me to hesitate for a split second, but I proceeded to kiss his forehead. I lingered for the smallest second but pulled back away after. I looked at him a little nervously as he stared back at me, a small expression of surprise on his face, but not being able to keep the eye contact he turned back to face away from me as he muttered, “Watch out, I got stitches.” Dismissing the contact I’d given him in appreciation for what he’d done today but I didn’t let it stop me from expressing it further.

“You need to know something.” I started making him turn back, again. “You did more for Sophia today then our own family ever did.” I told him.

“I didn’t do anything rick or Shane wouldn’t have done, or you for that matter.” He said, like it was nothing.

“I know. You’re every bit as good as them, every bit. If not more.” I clarified, smiling at him as I left, closing the door.

The next morning, Daryl had moved back into his tent, still on bed rest ordered by Hershel, to let his stitches and wound heal. I had figured he might be bored so I grabbed a book, Glenn had just put back, from the RV to give him, so he had something to do. As I came out the RV, stepping down next to Dale as Glenn was handing him a peach from a basket. He faced me, holding the basket out, offering me one.

“Hey, what’s up.” I greeted him casually, looking down in the basket as I picked a couple peaches out. 

“Nothing. Nothing’s up. Why?” Glenn blurted, defensively. I looked up to him in confusion, Dale mirroring my expression as Glenn just walks away. I turn to Dale, with my eyebrows raised.

“What was that about?” I questioned. Dale just sighed as he shrugged it off. I decided to do the same and make my way to Daryl’s tent.

“Hey.” I called at the entrance of his tent, ducking inside. “Hey.” He replied as he lay on his fold up bed.

“This is not that great, but, uh. I thought you might like something to do.” I said, handing him the book I brought.

“What, no pictures?” he joked with a small smirk as he opened the book, looking inside.

“Funny.” I said, rolling my eyes as I held out the peach for him to take also. He put the book down, grabbing the peach and taking a bite.

“Look, I just wanted to say if I made you feel uncomfortable last night I’m s-.” I nervously started, though I tried to cover it up, but he stops me.

“Nah. You didn’t.” he interjected, causing me to smile at him.

“Well, I just wanted to show you my appreciation and I didn’t have any good flower stories, so-.” I teased. He just stared before I broke the stare moving to leave the tent.

“Hey.” He called as I stepped out the tent. I turned back, ducking to look back inside. “When you said last night, I did more for Sophia than your family ever did. What happened to ‘em? What’d they do?” he asked softly.

I looked down briefly, before I answered his question. “I don’t know. And-- let’s just say you’re not the only one riddled with scars.” I answered, before I walked away to join Rick, Shane and Jimmy at the car bonnet, coming into their discussion.

“The creek flows south past that farmhouse Daryl found. Maybe Sophia dropped the toy there, current brought it downstream.” Rick theorises.

“So what, you think she took this road here then she went North?” Shane questions.

“Yeah. What’s up that way?” Rick asks Jimmy.

“A housing development went in maybe ten years ago.” He states.

“Take a run up there after gun practise. I’ll hold down the fort here but take backup. After what went down with Daryl, I don’t want anyone going out alone. We stay in pairs.” Rick orders.

“Y/N, you wanna join? Pair up?” Shane asks.

“No, I’ve got a job for her here. Plus, it’ll be good for someone else to get out there after practise.” Rick objects before I can even reply.

“And what might my job be here?” I ask. “I’ll tell you in a minute.” Rick replies.

“Well, any suggestions on a partner? Y/N’s a good shot.” Shane questions.

“See how people do on the range, then take your pick.” Rick replies as Beth and Patricia approach us.

“Speaking of. We’d like to join you for gun training today.” Beth announces.

“Hershel’s been very clear. I can’t involve any of you in what we do without his okay.” Rick protests.

“He doesn’t like it, but he consented.” Beth counters.

“Otis was the only one who knew guns. Now he’s gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves. Her father saw the sense in that.” Patricia added, while Shane walked off towards Carl.

“No offence, but I’ll ask Hershel myself.” Rick states. They nod in understanding before heading away back to the house, Jimmy following them.

“So, what’s my job here then Rick?” I repeated.

He turns to face me. “After training, I want you to come back here and keep an eye on Daryl.” He states.

“You want me to babysit Dixon?” I question, a little puzzled.

“I just want you to make sure he doesn’t go off on his own. He’s still healing and he’s even more stubborn than you and you went off when you were meant to be resting, so he most likely will try too. Like I said, I don’t want people going off alone anymore. It’s too dangerous.” I go to reply but he holds his hand up cutting me off. “Please don’t argue either. You seem to be the only one he really lets in, that’s why I’m asking you to do this.” He finishes.

“I wasn’t going to argue Rick. I’ll do it. I know I’ve been a stubborn ass as of recent and I’m sorry. I know we’re all doing what we can to find her. It’s just been a heck of a few days.” I explain.

“Yeah, I get it. I do. I’d be the same.” He says, putting his hand on my shoulder. I smile and nod.

He drops his hand. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that response. Or maybe I was.” He teases.

“What do you mean?” I ask, confused.

“Well, you and Daryl have seemed to be getting on quite well, since the CDC. Getting friendly.” He says with a suggestive smirk. I smile, raising my eyebrows at his comment and the expression accompanying it. “Shut up.” I tell him.

“So, I was right?” that face still there.

I nudge his side hard, pushing him off balance a little. “Stop. Now who’s being an ass.” I snicker as he laughs.

Shane then suddenly calls for Rick to come over, where he’s standing with Carl, beckoning Lori also. I accompany him over and find out that Carl had took a gun from the RV, lying about his intentions to Dale to get inside to get it. He apparently wants to learn how to shoot and to be honest, with everything that’s happened and going on, I can see why he’d want to. Lori wasn’t happy but Rick argued that perhaps it was a good idea, Shane backing him saying they could teach him with the rest of them today. Lori doesn’t seem to want to back down, but she’s eventually convinced, not entirely happy about it though.


	12. twelve

Shooting practise went better than I had thought. The people who were shooting, were picking it up quick, even Carl, and Andrea was doing well. Her shot getting pretty good, she just needed to practise on a moving target now. 

“See that?” Andrea starts, turning to me behind her as Rick and Shane come up beside me watching. “Guess I’m as good as you now, huh?” she says. I scoff, with a smirk. “Not quite. You’re still taking your time and these aren’t moving. But you’re doing good, you’ll get it soon.” I state.

“Oh, and I guess you’d know that, having been shooting, what, since the start of this? I don’t see you shooting those bottles off in one shot. You’re not shooting at all.” She pouts, clearly not liking my critique. 

I suddenly grab Shane’s pistol and fire three shots off one after the other, rapidly. They all look over. None of the bottles had been hit.

“Because I don’t need to. I was shooting at fifteen.” I calmly point out, handing Shane his gun back.

“Well, looks like you should. You didn’t hit the bottles. You missed your target.” She gloats.

“Who says I missed.” I smirk, pointing to the sign on the fence in the distance behind the line of bottles. It read ‘no trespassing’ and adorned three bullet holes inside the ‘o’. The guys smirked as Andrea’s gloating expression disappeared.

“I told you she was carrying for a reason, Andrea. Woman’s got a mean shot.” Shane stated.

“Just practise on a moving target, Andrea, and you’re basically there.” I say.

“Shane why don’t you show Andrea what to do while we take the others back to camp. I think she’s ready for the advanced class.” Rick instructs.

Shane had taken her to do so, while the rest of us headed back into camp. He was going to take her to that housing development after to check out that area for anything on Sophia, seeing as she was the best out of everyone at practise. 

I’d done as Rick asked, keeping my eye on Daryl, though he pretty much stayed in his tent most of the day, resting. And I was glad for it. He needed it. So, I did a few odd jobs that needed doing around the camp. Then, at lunch Dale was cooking up some meat. He was handing me a plate when I noticed Lori catch a whiff of it, her eyes widened a little and she held her hair up to her nose, trying to block the smell as she walked away from it. A suspicion sneaked into my head and I decided to run with it. I stepped away from Dale, heading towards Lori, putting my plate down before I got too close to her. I came up to her sitting on a log, looking as if she wanted to be sick and my suspicion seemed to start getting proved. She looked up at me, standing next to her on the log.

“You know, when I was younger, I knew someone who was pregnant.” I started, looking over to see the slight panic in her face and I knew then that I’d got it right. I carried on as I lowered myself to sit on the log with her. “One of things I remember most, is how nauseated she became at the smell of cooking. And she was- she was a meat eating gal.” Lori sighed as I talked, a slight smile at the ongoing story and that I’d caught her out. “Every time she smelled it near her, she had to lock herself in the bathroom or her bedroom to get away from it, until it was aired out.” We both chuckled.

“Glenn told.” She said, seriously now.

“He didn’t have to. I knew what I was looking at.” I stated.

“I haven’t told Rick. I can’t.” She says, getting emotional.

“Is it- is it because of Shane?” I ask curiously, not knowing if my hunch was right about the two of them.

“Wait, was it that obvious? You weren’t even at the camp long in Atlanta.” She blurts a little shocked.

“No, no. I don’t think anyone knows. I didn’t, not- not for sure. I just- I see things. He cares about you and Carl a lot. Like you’re his own. And at the CDC, when he came out that morning with those scratches on his neck. He didn’t have those the day before and he looked at you when asked about it. Then I realised he had walked into the rec room after I’d left you in there. So, I figured up an idea of what had happened and perhaps why he thought he could do that, seeing as he got you guys out and had been with you all that time.” I explained.

“I thought my husband was dead. And I felt like I’d died with him, and I- I wanted to feel something, anything. But now I hate myself for it.” she defends, tears in her eyes.

“And the baby?” I question.

“It’s Rick’s. And none of the rest of it matters.” She sternly puts.

“Then what’s your concern.” I try to comfort her.

“Memories are what keep me going now, memories of what life used to be. And I- I got a deep well to draw on. I still remember joy. But I think Carl’s well is already running dry. And this baby? Baby won’t have any good memories at all, only fear and pain.” She pains.

“You can’t think like that. We can still find joy. And we- we can still take strength from each other.” I declare.

“Do you really think this baby has a chance, that he can grow up and live a happy life? Look me in the eye and tell me that my baby will grow up to be Dale or Hershel’s age and- and die happy. Tell me. Tell me you believe that.” Lori pleads, crying and takes off.

I don’t go after her, thinking she needed a moment to collect herself. Truth is I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t promise her that, but it didn’t mean that it wasn’t true. I needed to tell her that. I decided I would but, I’d give it some time and try later.

I went to go see Lori a while later after I’d seen Glenn and Maggie come back from a run. At her tent entrance, I announced myself and came in to see her sitting at the table. She was looking at two things in front of her on the table. 

“I hope I didn’t upset you earlier. I’m sorry.” I apologised.

“No, no, you’re fine. I just got myself worked up.” She said. I look to see she’s got a packs of the morning after pill and a tub of prenatal vitamins, both in front of her that she was looking at.

“That’s um- that’s a hell of a choice you’ve got there.” I point out.

“Yeah. Yeah it is.” She replies as I crouch down and hold her hand.

“You know you don’t have to make it alone. And you shouldn’t. I know it’s not for me to say and I can’t tell you what to do. Now, I can be here for whatever it is you choose if that’s what you want. But you should tell Rick. He deserves to be in the loop at least.” I softly explain. 

She nods, tears falling. “I think I just need time to process.” I stroke her hand, pausing before I speak again. “To answer your question before, if the baby would have a chance at a happy life. I can’t promise you that, I know I can’t and no one else can either. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not true.” I say and bring her into an embrace that she holds me tight in. 

“I’ll be around if you need me, alright.” I tell her as I break the hug. She nods, tears still flowing down her cheeks as she sniffles and I leave the tent. 

As I make my way across the camp, Shane and Andrea pull up, back from their scout around the development. I rush over.

“Anything?” I call out as I come to stop by Dale in front of them.

Shane shakes his head, sighing. “Not today.” He says. “I’m so sorry. We’ll cover more ground tomorrow.” Andrea adds, touching my arm in comfort. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier too, think the shooting got to my head a bit.” She apologises. 

“No, you’re good. You didn’t bother me, it’s forgotten.” I ensured her as she squeezed my arm. I walked off as Dale began speaking with her and Shane. 

I headed towards Daryl’s tent, having not seen him for quite a while and quite frankly, I was tired and just wanted a quiet place to rest for a little bit, the day nearing its end. I entered his tent to find him cleaning his crossbow and arrows.

“Mind if I lay down in here for a bit. I’ve been around the women all day and I already feel emotionally drained.” I joked.

He scoffed with chuckle. “Alright.” He said and I positioned myself on the fold up bed on the other side of his in the tent. 

“Anything on Sophia?” he asked. “No, not today.” I answered, deflated.

“Hey. We’ll find her. She’s out there.” He declared.

“Yeah. I’m just trying not to think about it too much. Or I won’t get anything done around here.” I said.

We talked for a little while longer, before Daryl went outside to stretch his legs after finishing cleaning his crossbow and arrows, then sharpening them. He’d told me about how he hallucinated Merle out in the woods, when he was thrown down into that creek and injured. Told me a couple stories about him from before all this. How he wasn’t exactly the best brother growing up, that he wasn’t there that much anyway, before stopping when I mentioned his father, clearly hitting a sensitive topic. That’s when he said he was going to go out and stretch his legs. I stayed in the tent, still tired from the day and too comfortable to move now, not taking me long to fall asleep.

I’d woke the next morning, covered with a blanket and still in Daryl’s tent. it reminded me of the CDC, when I had stayed in Daryl’s room and woken up to find him gone and his blanket draped over me. Although, this time he was still here. I turned looking over at him, to see him still laying in his bed, his back to me on his side. He was still asleep. I tried moving quietly but as I tried to get up, he began to stir and turned to look over at me.

“Morning.” I whispered. He grunted in reply. “Why didn’t you wake me? I would have just gone back to the RV.” I questioned, my voice raised but still quiet. 

“Nah. You looked peaceful. Weren’t hurting no one.” he muttered. 

I smiled. “Alright. I’ll see you outside.” I left to walk into camp for breakfast with the others. 

The camp and group were quiet this morning. No one talked. Carol was serving us up some eggs, going around the group when Daryl joined me on the log I was sitting on, sitting next to me. A moment passed before I nudged him slightly with my elbow. “Thanks for the blanket, Dixon.” I said quietly, giving him a small smile. “Mmhmm.” Is all he replied as he looked at me, but he didn’t have to say much for me to know that he cared. I already knew. 

We were eating our eggs as Glenn moved to stand around in front of the group, beginning to announce something to us all.

“Um, guys?” he started, grabbing our attention. “So--,” He hesitated before he eventually came out with what he was intending to say.

“The barn’s full of walkers.” He told us. We all looked at him in surprise, processing what he’d just said. 

The barn was full of what now?


	13. thirteen

“You cannot tell me you’re alright with this.” Shane spat at Rick, marching back to us surrounding the barn, from looking through a gap in the barn’s door at the walkers inside.

“No, I’m not. But we’re guests here. This isn’t our land.” Rick replied.

“Oh, god. This is our lives, man!” Shane says, raising his voice

“Lower your voice.” Lori tells Shane.

“We can’t just sweep this under the rug.” Andrea points out.

“It ain’t right. Not remote.” T-Dog adds.

“We either gotta go in there, we gotta make things right, or we just gotta go. Now, we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time-,” Shane starts.

“We can’t go.” Rick snaps.

“Why, Rick? Why?” Shane questions.

“Because Sophia’s still out there.” I state, my voice calm but exasperated in its tone.

“Okay-,” Shane sighs, covering his face losing his patience, before speaking again. “I think it’s time that we all start to just consider the other possibility.” He says.

“Shane, we’re not leaving Sophia behind.” Rick declares.

“I’m close to finding this girl. I just found her damn toy a few days ago.” Daryl adds.

“You found her toy, Daryl. That’s what you did. You found a toy.” Shane clarifies.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Daryl spits at Shane, annoyed at what he’s saying.

“Hey, look- I’m just saying what needs to be said here. Now, if you get a good lead, it’s in the first 48 hours, after that it don’t matter.” Shane explains as Rick tries talking him down. “Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there, saw you coming, all methed out with you buck knife and blood all over you, she would run in the other direction, man.” Shane yells at Daryl as he goes for Shane shouting, “Shut up!” Rick tries keeping them apart, but they keep going for each other, shouting at one another. Shane repeatedly shouts, “Don’t come at me, I’ll beat your ass, boy.” At Daryl as Rick and Lori keep him away and I pull Daryl back.

Shane looks to Lori, “Keep your hands off me.” He says as he begins walking off.

“Now, just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out.” Rick calls after Shane, causing him to turn back in a rage.

“What are you gonna figure out?” he screams as Lori stops him, pushing her hand against his chest shouting, “Enough!”

“If we’re gonna stay, if we’re gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land.” Rick snaps.

“Hershel sees those things in there as people, sick people. His wife, his- his- stepson.” Dale informs us.

“You knew?” Rick asks, shock in his voice.

“Yesterday. I talked to Hershel.” He answers.

“And you waited the night?” Shane questions.

“I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting until this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one.” Dale defends.

“This man is crazy, Rick. If Hershel thinks those things are alive or no!” Shane yells when the barn doors suddenly start rattling and snarls are heard from it. 

What a morning this turned out to be. 

Rick had decided to try and talk to Hershel about the walkers in the barn, about dealing with them, much to Shane’s continued protests and arguments. There was nothing we could do about it for now until Rick spoke to him so, everyone went on about the day as if it were normal. Except Shane who lingered around the barn, keeping watch.

I had spotted Daryl heading towards the stables. I guess he thought one day of rest was enough for his wound, but I knew it wasn’t. His stitches could easy bust if something happened. He needed to let them heal. So, I headed over to talk to him. As I entered the stables, he swung to get the saddle onto the rack for when he got the horse out, but the swing and weight of the saddle caused him pain to his side as he breathed heavy through it at the movement. I rushed up to him.

“You can’t.” I announced.

“I’m fine.” He growled. Still in a foul mood because of Shane no doubt.

“Hershel said you need to heal. You’ve still got a bit to go.” I told him.

“Yeah, I don’t care.” He states, grabbing the bridle and moving over to the stable door.

“Well, I do.” I reply softly. He opens the stable door to the horse. “Rick and I are going out to follow the trail after he’s talked with Hershel.” I tell him.

“Yeah. Well, I ain’t gonna sit around and do nothin’.” He replies, bridling the horse.

“No, you’re gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse.” I counter but he ignores me, carrying on.

“We don’t know if we’re gonna find her, Daryl.” I point out, sadly. He stops, turning around to look at me. We stare at each other. “We don’t.” I add, wiping a stray tear quickly from my cheek. He takes a couple steps forward, now standing in front of me.

“What?” he says, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“And I can’t lose you too.” I state.

He drops the bridle down, still staring. He moves past me back towards the saddle rack when he suddenly loses his temper and grabs the saddle off the rack, throwing it, grunting and then hunching over in pain, holding his side where his stitches are. I go to check him.

“Are you alright?” I ask but he swings his arm, telling me, “Just leave me be!” and starts walking off.

“Stupid bitch.” He mumbles under his breath but I hear him and I walk after him, angered. I grab his shoulder, pulling him back around.

“No. You don’t get to say that and just walk away!” I yell.

“What are you even doing?” he yells back.

“Keeping my eye on you. You’re gonna get yourself hurt Daryl.” I say.

“You know, if you spent half your time minding your sister’s business instead of sticking your nose into mine, she’d still be here with us!” he shouts. I look down as he says it, hurt. Not able to form a reply but I look back to him. Tears in my eyes but I stare back at him with anger in them too. It doesn’t stop him though.

“Man, just go! I don’t want you here!” he yells but I don’t back down. I still stand there, facing him.

“You’re a real piece if work Y/N.” he says, his voice lowered back down but he fidgets on the spot, annoyed. “What you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that? You don’t know jack. You’re afraid. You’re afraid cause you’re all alone. You got no one. You ain’t got no sister around. You don’t know what to do with yourself.” He bursts out. I can feel the anger in me rising but I still stand there.

“You ain’t my problem! Sophia wasn’t mine! All you had to do was keep an eye on her!” he shouts and losing my temper, with his last word I slap him hard. He turns his face back to me. My tears spilling over down my cheeks from both upset and anger. We stare at each other in shock and frustration of the moment we’d just had when I shove past him striding out the stable without a word, leaving him there.

I’d gone to my tent to compose myself before heading over to Rick, not wanting him to ask questions. Although, when I approached him at the car bonnet he asked me if I was alright, clearing noting I had been crying. I dismissed it though and I was glad he didn’t press me on it. 

We’d started making a plan for our search, Rick explaining the route we’d take and where to search when Hershel called over for Rick making his way up to us. we turned to face him.

“Hershel. We just have our guns out because we’re going to go look for Sophia.” Rick is quick to explain.

“Before you do that, I could use your help with something.” He states.

“Alright. What’d you need help with?” I ask.

“Thank you. But I just need Rick.” Hershel insists.

“Okay. Well, I’ll be around camp waiting, until you’re ready.” I say before I walk off.


	14. fourteen

I was sat in camp, sharpening my knife, waiting on Rick and Hershel to come back when Daryl made his way up to me. He stands in front of me but I don’t look up at him, I just keep sharpening my knife. 

“Come on.” He says. His voice back to the low and softer tone he used when he was calmer or felt sorry for whatever reason.

“If your mood’s still the same as earlier, then I don’t think I will.” I reply, still looking down, sharpening my knife.

“Y/N, Come on.” He repeats and I stop what I’m doing. I look up to see him looking at me, guilt on his face. I sigh and get up to follow him.

We don’t speak the whole time we’re walking as he leads me to and around a pond on the land.

“You see it?” he asks.

“See what? I retort.

He points to a small cluster of Cherokee roses as we come to a stop in front of them. I look at them, reminded of the story Daryl had told me before.

“I’ll find her.” He says, looking to me. I turn to face him, giving him a weak smile but say nothing as I look back to the roses. I can see him staring at me still, so I turn back to face him, thinking he’s probably trying to work his words out to say something.

“Hey, I’m sorry about what happened this morning.” He finally said. It was hard to be mad at him. His apology was sincere and all he wanted to do was help.

“You wanted to look for her.” I reply, looking back over the pond. There’s a moment of silence.

“Why?” I began. “I mean, this whole time I just- I wanted to ask you.” I questioned.

“Cause I think she’s still out there.” He answered. I turn back to face him, giving him a small smile before I embrace him in another hug. This time he didn’t flinch, hesitate, or tense up. He just melted into, holding me back. I rested my head against his shoulder and I felt him, ever so slightly, rest his head against mine. It was nice to feel that from him. 

When I pulled out the hug, I looked to the roses and caressed one with my hand.

“We’ll find her. We will.” I look back to him “I see it.” I finish. He flashes a quick, small smile at me, which I return.

We’d headed back to camp, as I said we had to get back so I could get Rick and get going looking for Sophia with him. We approached the house as Andrea and T-Dog were also, from another direction. We heard them start talking to the group, who were all gathered and sat around the porch.

“Do you know what’s going on?” T-Dog questions.

“Where is everyone?” Andrea adds.

“You haven’t seen Rick?” Glenn asks back.

“He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago. He’s not back yet.” I chimed in as Daryl and I got closer. No one said anything. 

“Dammit. Ain’t anybody else taking this seriously but us two? We got us a damn trail.” Daryl says, raising his voice as he turns to see Shane coming up to us all. “Ah, here we go.” He finishes.

Shane was marching over to us with purpose. He looked in one of his moods and was carrying the bag of guns, while he held one in his hand.

“What’s all this?” Daryl asked, pointing to the bag of guns.

“You with me, man?” he says, holding the gun out to him which he takes.

“Time to grow up.” He continued. “You already got yours.” He asked me.

“Yeah.” I replied cautiously. 

“Where’s Dale?” Andrea questioned.

“He’s on his way.” He replied, handing T-Dog a gun. “Thought we couldn’t carry.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, well, we can, and we have to. Now, look. It was one thing standing around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain’t.” Shane explained. He walked towards Glenn, next to Maggie. “How about you, man. You gonna protect yours?” he asked holding a shotgun out to him. He takes it hesitantly.

“Can you shoot?” Shane questions Maggie. “Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight.” Maggie declares.

“We have to stay, Shane.” Carl chimes in as Lori comes out the house. “What is this?” she asks.

“We ain’t going anywhere, okay? Now, look. Hershel- he’s just gotta understand, okay? Well, he’s gonna have to. And we need to find Sophia. Am I right?” he announces, stepping towards Carl, crouching down to him holding a pistol out. “Now, I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it.”

Lori comes forward, stepping in front of Carl, in between him and Shane. “Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make.” She says sternly.

“Oh, shit.” T-Dog suddenly blurts. We all turn to see what he’s talking about. Rick, Hershel and Jimmy had broken the treeline coming onto the property, with walkers on poles leading them in the direction of the barn. 

“What is that?” I heard Shane say to himself as he started off sprinting towards them, all of us following close behind as we ran across the yard into the field with the barn.

“What the hell you doing?” Shane shouted at them.

“Shane, just back off.” Rick snapped. “Why do your people have guns.” Hershel questioned. Both of them trying to control the walkers they had on these poles.

“Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they’re holding onto?” Shane exclaims as he circles around in a fit of rage.

“I see who I’m holding onto!” Hershel claps back. “No, man, you don’t!” Shane retaliates.

“Shane, just let us do this. Then we can talk.” Rick reasons.

“What you wanna talk about, Rick? These things ain’t sick! They’re not people! They’re dead! Ain’t gotta feel nothing for ‘em, because all they do? They kill! These things, right here! They’re the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis! They’re gonna kill all of us!” Shane screams at everyone, pacing around. “Shane, shut up!” Rick shouts as Shane moves around in front of everybody, in front of Rick and Hershel, between us and the barn.

“Hey Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?” he pulls his gun out and shoots three rounds into the walker Hershel was holding as Rick shouted in protest.

“That’s three rounds in the chest! Could someone who’s alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?” Shane begins. He shoots another couple rounds. “That’s it heart, it’s lungs! Why is it still coming? He shoots three more rounds at it again.

“Shane, enough!” Rick shouts.

“Hey, you’re right, man.” Shane starts, walking towards the walker. “That is enough.” He says just before he shoots the walker point blank in the head.

Everyone looks on at the scene in distress, more so Hershel and his people. He had fallen to his knees as the walker went down. No one knew what to do. Shane was on a rampage. The walkers inside the barn had perked up at the commotion and noise, rattling and snarling at the doors.

“Enough risking our lives for a little girl who’s gone! He spits at me, yelling, turning my face cold and infuriated. He was way out of line. He’d lost control. “Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough! Rick, it ain’t like it was before. Now, if y’all wanna live, if you wanna survive, you gotta fight for it! I’m talking about fighting, right here, right now!” He screamed before he took off running to the barn doors. I gripped my gun, ready for what was about to happen next.

“Take the snare pole! Hershel, Hershel, take the snare pole! Hershel! Listen to me, man, please! Take it now! Hershel! Take it” Rick yelled but Hershel was just staring towards the barn, still on his knees, in shock. 

Shane started bashing the barn lock with a pickaxe. “No, Shane. Do not do this, brother!” Rick calls out as Shane breaks the lock, dropping the pickaxe and pulling the wooden slab off, throwing it to the side, the last means of keeping the doors shut as some of the group shouted for him not to do it, along with Rick. Shane banged on the doors before he backed up back towards us. 

“This is not the way! Please!” Rick shouted but it was too late. The doors were unlocked and those walkers were gonna be making their way out any second.


	15. fifteen

Shane stood in front of us all, with his gun cocked ready to take them down. The doors started to open but only a gap big enough for a couple at a time as a chain rattled at the top of the doors from the inside keeping them together and the flow of walkers a few at a time. A few of us moved forward to join Shane. T-Dog, Andrea, Daryl and I as we all began shooting, taking the approaching walkers down. A part of me felt bad for Hershel and his people as they seemed so distressed by the event but a bigger part of me, the rational one, knew this was something that needed to be taken care of. The flow of walkers kept coming and we kept shooting them down, as the rest watched in horror behind us, Glenn joining in shooting the walkers too soon after we started. Shane had turned and shot the walker Rick was still holding onto, before resuming back onto the barn walkers.

Once all the walkers had been shot down, stood in this firing line, I guess you’d call it, I turned to look back at Rick. An apologetic expression on my face, knowing he didn’t want this. Lori was holding a shocked and probably scared Carl on the ground behind him. We looked around at each other and at the sight before us. Bodies littered the front of the barn. No one said anything. I heard someone approaching from behind and looked to see Dale had only just arrived back, looking at the scene before him in horror when I suddenly heard a low snarling coming from the barn. I turned back, the moans and snarls coming from inside the barn. One last straggler I assumed, coming to make its way out. 

A small figure appeared in the gap, it’s head hung low. It stepped outside, into the sun and my breaths started to shorten as it brought it’s head up. Everything hit me in a split second. I recognised the clothes and then caught it’s face as it looked at us all. It was Sophia. It was her. A walker. I hear gasps and murmurs around me but all care around me fades away. I don’t care about the walkers we’d just killed, I don’t care about Hershel and his people, not Shane, not the others, not myself. Not anything. My mouth drops as my breath comes out rapid and short, my composure crumbling. Tears form in my eyes as I mumble her name and lose grip on my gun, it falling to the ground as my tears do the same down my face. I slump down whispering no repeatedly, not being able to hold myself or wanting to believe what I was seeing in front of me. As my muttering of no’s gets louder transitioning into a fit of cries as all I can do is watch Sophia slowly make her way through the litter of dead walkers towards us. I look at her, a complete wreck on the floor. I’m gripping my chest, sobbing, as I feel a hand gently touch my shoulder, I don’t look to see who it is, not caring in the slightest. When Rick moves past me, his hand slipping from my shoulder and taking a few steps in front of me and I know what he’s going to do. As he lifts his gun at Sophia I bring myself to a stand, still sobbing and come up next to him.

“No.” I say harshly. “Y/N-, we-, I-I hav-,” he stutters trying to formulate the words to me, but I cut him off. “No! She’s my blood. I’ll do it. It has to be me.” I cry. “Y/N, you don’t have to.” He says softly but I push past him, stepping forward.

Still a blubbering mess I stand in front of the still approaching Sophia. I hold my gun towards her sobbing, trying to pull myself together to put her down. She edges closer. I still can’t bring my self to do it and I lower my gun along with my head, closing my eyes, covering them with my hand and trying to breath. I hear Rick say my name from behind me, probably getting anxious she was getting closer and closer. I know I’ve got to do it now and it pains me to look back at her, but I do it. I open my eyes as I swiftly lift my head and gun back up, aimed at her head. My breaths getting heavier. Louder. Coming out rapidly as I watched coming towards me when I work them up into an almighty scream, Sophia snarling louder in response. When I finally hear the bang and echo of my gun. 

I’d pulled the trigger and watched her body fall to the ground. Now just a lifeless walker amongst the rest of the littered bodies. I fell back down to the floor in a heap of cried and despair at what had just befallen. I stare at her ahead of me, laid on her side with her head facing the ground, ending up that way as she hit the floor. I start to move, putting myself on all fours as I begin to crawl my way over to Sophia. Just before I get to her, I feel someone pull me back, keeping me in a tight hold in their arms against their body, as they keep me away from her on the ground together.

“Don’t look. Don’t look.” Daryl softly says. I whisper no again and again as I try to squirm out of his grip but he keeps me in his hold. 

“Let me go. Let me see her.” I ask, crying, fighting against him. “You shouldn’t look. Y/N, stop.” he replies but I keep resisting and we keep on at each other, as I get louder and louder with every word, talking over each other as I cry, when eventually I burst.

“Let go of me! I need to see her! I wanna hold her! Please! Let me hold my daughter!!” I scream and fight and push out of his hold as he loosens his grip on me at my words.

I drag myself over to Sophia, gently turning her over onto her back. Her face was dirty and rotted. Her eyes had no soul or colour anymore. But she’d been like that before I shot her. It wasn’t fair. Why did it have to be her? I had always tried to do my best by her and now look where we’d ended up. I cried over my daughter’s lifeless body. At the sight of her. At the fact, she’d never get to grow. That she was no longer going to be by my side. That I hadn’t got the chance to tell her how loved she was before she was gone. That I never got to tell her that I was actually her mom. This world was cruel. Unfair. It always was. Then the world changed. But in all honesty, it never actually did. It was still just as cruel. Nothing had changed except for the dead. Which my Sophia was now apart of.

Someone making their way over to the walkers was sobbing much like me. It was Beth. I heard her slump to the ground with a thud and mumble ‘mom’ not too far away from me. When suddenly I hear snarling and her screaming, but I don’t help, I don’t even look up. A part of me didn’t care but I also knew the others were right behind us and they were over to her in a second helping her free from the walker’s grip that was her mother. 

They eventually killed it and got her back away from it, all the while I had taken the opportunity to leave, not wanting anyone to follow me as the bulk of them aided Beth. I had just about had my fill of looking at Sophia, I couldn’t take looking at her any longer. I didn’t want to stick around to see everyone’s faces and hear their questions no doubt at my outburst either, announcing that Sophia was actually in fact my daughter and not my little sister. I’d never told anyone. Not even Doc. I’d never wanted to. I never knew how to tell Sophia. How to explain it to her. Everything that happened. Now, I’d never get another chance to. She was gone. And I wasn’t ready to tell the others. Not now. Not yet. I walked past everyone behind us, not stopping for anyone, all of them staring at me as I strode past, marching off back to camp. Leaving the horror show now behind me.


	16. sixteen

I had taken myself away to the RV and sat at the table, staring out the window. Not moving. Not saying a word. The camp had calmed after what had just happened and no one came to bother me which I was happy about. All except Daryl. After a little while, he had come into the RV, slowly, and stood at the entrance opposite me. I turned my head to see it was him. He didn’t say anything. Just stared back with a look of deep pity, clearing wanting to find a way to comfort me but not knowing how. I turn back to look out the window and I hear him perch himself on the countertop by the entrance opposite me. He doesn’t move from that spot. He never says a word. Just sits there with me in the RV. And although it’s not much, it’s all I need. No fussing. Just knowing he’s there is enough for me in that moment. 

We both stay there like that for what feels like a long time, as the rest of the day passes and I appreciate that he’s stayed there with me this whole time, not even saying a word. When Lori comes to the entrance of the RV, knocking on the door announcing she’s there. 

“They’re ready.” She declares after a moment, quietly. I turn to face her, expressionless, knowing she’s talking about the other’s having prepared graves.

“I don’t know if I can do it.” I say with a wobble in my voice, trying to hold back the tears.

“You can. And you should.” Lori urges gently. “Come on, that’s your little girl.” Daryl adds softly.

“I never even told her. She died not knowing I was her mom. I’m gonna regret that for every day I’m alive, and she’s not. I should have told her long ago. Now she’s gone and I can’t.” I say.

“You took care of her like any other mother would. She may not have known your real relationship to her, but she knew you were as good as her mother regardless. We all did.” Lori assures me. I wipe away a tear as it falls down my face and nod. I stand up and follow her out the RV, Daryl behind me. As we made our way to the service for Sophia and Hershel’s family that were also amongst the walkers in the barn, I appreciated that both Daryl and Lori hadn’t pressed on the matter, asking questions. Instead, just urging me forward. I supposed they would ask when they thought I was ready, but I wondered if I ever would be. 

The service was sombre. Hershel had spoke for the dead, but you could see and hear he was finding it difficult after what had happened. I was glad the group had done this, and I came, but I wasn’t sure it helped much. Just made it all the more real. When it was over I left quickly. Wanting to be alone for sure this time. Even away from Daryl for a little bit. So, I took off towards the woods, sword strapped to my back. I needed to get away from everyone. Not see them for a while. I had walked off towards the pond on Hershel’s land, hoping it would give me a bit of cover to move into the woods without anyone noticing easily as it was surrounded by shrubbery and plants. As I marched past, the Cherokee roses came into my view and caused me to stop. I stared at them for a second and then walked towards them. I crouched down looking at them, holding one in my hand on it’s stem. The story Daryl told me and the memory of him showing me these here saying we’d find her, churning me into a pit of anger as I crushed the rose in my hand and then ripped it from it’s stem. In a fit of rage, I started pulling and ripping at all the roses, the whole plant, not caring it was scratching my arms up. It fuelled my anger into tears and I stopped taking off into the woods, enraged.

I don’t know how long I was in the woods for. I had actively gone looking for walkers to take my infuriation out on them, channelling it into the swings of my sword. I lost count on how many I came across and killed. Grunting, screaming and crying as I lashed out on them all. I could feel the blood splatter all over me as I hacked at some of them in furry. It was mostly after I had come across a small cluster of some, taking them out furiously all at once, the last one getting the brunt of my wrath, repeatedly swinging my sword down on them when they all had been killed so I could do so. I knew it wasn’t doing anything. It wasn’t making me feel better and it wouldn’t bring her back. But in the moment, it felt good to lash out and kill something. I needed to let it all out. 

When I got back to camp, I felt a little dazed, not really concentrating on much, just where I was going. I ached and I must have looked a mess because I could feel the dried blood and mud on my face, arms, all over me. As I approached camp, holding my blood stained sword still in my hand, I saw a small group of people rush to approach me. I could hear them calling if I was alright, if I was hurt, where I’d been, what the hell I’d been doing but I didn’t acknowledge any of them, instead just carried on walking, avoiding their grouping and going past them.

As I pass the side of them, still ignoring them, I go past Shane to my left. He lightly grabs my arm saying ‘hey’ accompanying the contact in an effort to get me to talk or stay or comfort me, but I honestly didn’t care. I especially didn’t want him near me, so as soon as I heard him say ‘hey’ and touch my arm, I spun on the spot, swinging my sword round and up, holding the end of it at the side of his neck. It happened within a split second. A reflex that I didn’t regret. “Woah.” He said, holding his hands out to his sides to ease me down. “Don’t touch me.” I say eerily calm. I hold the stare and my sword for a moment before I lower it and continue walking off.

I’d sat on a log behind a tree near camp. Just staring off into space at the landscape of the property land when Daryl came up to the side of me, slow and cautious in his approach. As he stood in front of me for a second and I looked up, seeing he was holding a bucket. Taking my movement of looking up to him as a sign I wasn’t going to sling my sword in his direction like Shane, he placed the bucket down, which had water and a cloth in it I saw, he crouched in front of me. He gently grabbed my wrist, holding my arm out towards him as he started picking the thorns out my skin I’d collected from ripping at the roses. He did the same with my other arm, always been gentle. We didn’t speak, I just watched him, liking the silent moment between us and the sensation of his soft touch. He’d started cleaning the mud and blood off my arms, wiping them with his wet hands at first. It was almost like a stroke, every touch. I’d never seen him so delicate. He was calming me without even a word. 

His hands were wiping over my wrists, his thumb stroking my skin. He dipped his hand in the bucket, bringing it back to my hand and started again against my palm. I found myself enclosing his hand in mine, holding it for a few seconds while I watched myself do it. He didn’t move, he just stopped. I looked to him, seeing he was already looking at me, unsure what to do while I held his hand in mine. I leant forward slowly, moving ever so slightly to the left as I neared his face and delicately placed a kiss on his cheek. Lingering my lips, a little. He didn’t make a dismissing remark this time, like before when I kissed his forehead. He just stared. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I offered him the smallest of arches from my mouth, in an attempt to smile, showing I appreciated what he was doing for me and then unwrapped my hand from his, bringing it back to my lap as a lone tear fell and I wiped it away. I wondered if I’d maybe crossed a boundary with him seeing as he hadn’t really reacted at all to either contact I’d just given him and when he then rose from his crouch to a stand. I thought he was going to leave but he instead stepped to my side and sat himself next to me on the log, his arm against mine. He sat still for a few seconds before he reached for my hand and held it with his. I faced him, grateful for the contact as tears welled in my eyes. I faced back to the view ahead, tilting my head to lean against his shoulder.

We remained in that position for maybe a couple minutes before he muttered the first words either of us had spoken to each other since he came over.

“Gonna move my tent away from the house. From the group. Put some distance between us. Thought I’d mention it. In case you wanted the same.” He said tenderly.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’d actually like that.” I replied softly, looking to him.

“Alright.” He said, nodding back. “Finish gettin’ you cleaned up first though. Hand me the bucket would ya.” He added, still gentle in his tone, nodding to the bucket. 

“You don’t have to you know. I can finish myself.” I quietly point out. “Nah, just let me do it.” he said softly, putting his hand out for the bucket on the other side of me. I handed him the bucket and he started wiping me clean again. This time with the cloth, he finished my arms, then my upper chest and neck, my shoulders and my upper back. Leaving my face last.

When he chucked the cloth back into the bucket, he rose from the log. “Thank you.” I said. “Mmhmm.” He mumbled as he picked the bucket up. “Gonna move the tent up now, if you wanna grab your stuff and help.” He stated. “Alright.” I replied and with a nod, he walked off to his tent.

On the way to the RV, to collect what little things I had, everyone seemed to keep their distance and I was glad for it. Although, as I came into the RV I locked eye contact with Shane who was sitting at the table cleaning his gun. He stopped, putting what pieces he had in his hands down when he saw me, but I soon brushed past him to retrieve my few bag of belongings. As I turned back around and took a few steps back to leave he stood up blocking my way. I sighed and waited for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked in a quiet and tender tone that I’d never heard come from him before and after his behaviour recently and general demeanour, it was a little surprising. “Yeah.” I softly replied. There was a pause as we looked at each other but I didn’t go to move, anticipating he had something else he wanted to say.

“Look, um, I want you to know I’m real sorry for your girl.” He said. “Thank you.” I replied plainly.

“I opened that barn. I know I did. If I did, it was-- everybody thinks that I’m a--.” He stammered, not finishing his sentences but continued on. “I was just trying to keep everybody safe. I had no idea she was in there, understand?” he was almost whispering, placing his hand on my shoulder, and he looked genuinely sincere in his words.

“I know.” I calmly replied. I glanced at the door and back to him when he removed his hand and moved out the way, sitting back down at the table to let me go.


	17. seventeen

Daryl and I had set up away from the farmhouse, quite a distance away on Hershel’s land. The house seemed small when you looked back at it. We’d re-pitched his tent up here for us to share, as I slept in the RV before, and made our own little camp. I was happy being away from everyone, just having Daryl for company. Only talking when we really wanted to do, which at the moment wasn’t a lot but for both of us, it was comfortable. One of the reasons I found early on, when I met Daryl, why I liked being around him.

“Moving to the suburbs?” Lori bluntly joked, upon her approach, at our move away from camp, though neither of us reply. Daryl carried on sharpening his knife as I was sat by the tent, trying to get the blood out of my clothes I was wearing before.

“Listen, Beth’s in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel.” She continued, coming up to Daryl.

“Yeah. So what?” Daryl retorted.

“So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back.” She stated, receiving no reply from Daryl. “Daryl?” 

He finally looked her way. “Your bitch went window shopping. You want him, fetch him yourself. I got better things to do.” He spat.

“What’s the matter with you? Why would you be so selfish?” she questioned, angering him as he shoots to stand.

“Selfish? Listen to me, I was out there looking for Y/N’s little girl every single day. I took a bullet and an arrow in the process. Don’t you tell me about me getting my hands dirty. You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I’m done looking for people.” He snaps at her, sitting back down by the end of it, sharpening his knife again. 

She doesn’t form a response, instead looks over to me as a last hope but I don’t say anything either agreeing with Daryl, instead just looking back down to my clothes. She backs away and leaves for the farmhouse.

Later on that evening, Daryl and I are sat around a fire together cooking some meat to eat when Carol comes panting over to us at our camp.

“We can’t find Lori, and the others aren’t back yet either.” She announces, coming to a stop next to us. Looks like Lori went after them both herself after all. 

“That dumb bitch must’ve gone off looking for him.” Daryl states as a slight tang of guilt creeps in me, considering she’s clearly gone out on her own and the fact that she was pregnant, something might’ve happened.

“What?” Carol says. “Yeah. She asked me to go. I told her I was done being an errand boy.” Daryl explained.

“And you didn’t say anything?” she exclaims. Daryl says nothing, just focussing on the fire. Carol starts walking off but soon comes right back.

“Don’t do this. Please. The camp needs you both. Y/N I know you lost your girl and it’s heart breaking but you two are a big part of us. Don’t distance yourselves.” She declares. 

“You’re absolutely right. I lost my little girl and it’s not even been a full day yet, can’t you people leave me alone. We came up here to be away from it all. The group’s in pieces. Nothing either of us is gonna do is gonna fix that. So if I wanna distance myself just get off my back and let it be. It’s just to get some space for a bit, alright?” I snap, turning my focus back to the fire and I hear her rush back off.

Shortly after Carol leaves, Daryl hands me a plate of the meat and he starts picking at his, shoving it in his mouth.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at her like that. She didn’t do anything wrong.” I say, hanging my head, staring at my food.

“Maybe. But you’re right. Came up here to get away from ‘em and they keep running over cause all this groups got is problems.” He backs, sucking his fingers in between his words as he eats. I try not to think about it as Daryl points to my food. “If you don’t start eatin’ that, I will.” He teases and I nudge him gently as I begin eating the meat.

We ate the rest in silence, watching the fire. When I finished, I tapped his leg for him to pass me his plate and I took them over to the tent, before returning to my spot next to him by the fire. 

“You gonna explain what you said earlier today? About Sophia?” Daryl suddenly asked.

“Are you gonna talk about what your dad did to you?” I retaliate, but he doesn’t respond, knowing it was a fair point. There’s a moment of silence as I think about whether I want to talk about it or not.

“Don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t wanna.” He points out, breaking the small silence.

“Well, I probably should. I’ve just never talked to anyone about it all before. Not properly, anyway.” I state. 

“Like I said. Don’t have to.” He repeated.

“No. I should. And if it’s going to be anyone, it’d be you.” I declare. 

“Alright.” He says. I sigh as I think what to begin with. “You said you had scars too. Your parents give ‘em to ya?” he asked before I managed to start.

“In a sense. My mom gave them to me. Her husband gave me a few too. They weren’t parents. And I seemed to be just a body bag for them to take their frustrations and—and other things out on.” I explained.

“They ever do it to Sophia?” he questioned. 

“No. I wouldn’t have let them even if they tried. But they weren’t around to do it anyway. Thank god. They’d took off as soon as Sophia was born, like literally in the hospital. Well, actually they never made it inside the hospital. ” I answered.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Well, I might as well cover all grounds if I’m telling you about it.” I said before pausing, listening to the fire crackle.


	18. eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - talk of physical abuse and mention of rape and suicide within chapter, not very explicit

“My dad died when I was six. He was a retired soldier and he helped others adjust back to pedestrian life who’d retired, were discharged or suffered from PTSD, things like that. One day, someone new he was helping, who had major PTSD and schizophrenia, he just flipped his switch, had an episode and shot a bunch of men. My dad included. I was there that day and I watched him die. He was a good dad, a good man.” I paused, the upsetting memory of the scene coming into my head before I carried on.  
“My stepmother took it the worst. She was like a mother to me, she was kind unlike my real one. But she couldn’t take what happened and I found her in our bathtub, the water blood red, after school one day about a month later. After that, I had to live with my real mother and she took anything she could out on me. I don’t know why. I guess she was just wired wrong. I was her personal punching bag. Bruises, sprains, broken things, burns, anything. She got worse and worse, started using things like knives too.” I continued and although saying the memories out loud was somewhat painful, I found myself going into it more and more.  
“Sometimes she wouldn’t even be angry at anything, she’d just do it for the fun of it. A smile on her face. Just to see what would happen. She’d always keep them on my back and stomach, easily hidden. Reopening both old scars and healing wounds. They were just the physical scars anyway. She’d somehow conditioned me into believing if I said or did anything, something worse would happen. But I don’t what else she could have done. Other than killing me. I should have done something at the start.”

“You were just a kid. Scared. Can’t blame yourself for anythin’.” He said.

“Yeah, well, it went on for years. Pulling me out of school at some point. But when I was twelve she met this man, they got married real quick and he moved in all within several months. She all but near stopped when he was living with us. The occasional few hits here and there but she seemed to give most of it up. I didn’t like him, he was cruel too. He liked to hit me too sometimes and if he was ever in a particularly foul mood he liked to hold me down and put his cigarettes out on me. It was rare, but he still did it and always on my back or stomach with the rest. Like she’d told him or something.”  
“Anyway, a few months in, one night he came into my room and-- and um-- well, he did what no man should do to a young girl.” Tears had formed in my eyes at the thought of it. Daryl was silent next to me.   
“Fourteen years on and I can still smell his breath, feel his weight on me, his hands holding me down, hear his words whispered in my ear, all of it. But what made it worse was-- my door was slightly a jar, open enough to see out through it’s gap. And I saw my mother standing in that gap behind the door just-- just watching, doing nothing. She was no mother to me, not in any sense, not ever. But seeing her there, not doing a thing made it worse.” Tears were slowly making their way down my face; sniffling as I spoke.  
“Then, after he’d been doing it for a while, it wasn’t long before my mother noticed he’d gotten me pregnant. I was only just thirteen. I was scared and didn’t want it but she told me I had no choice. Obviously it would have stirred a lot of noise and attention if they’d brought me in for any medical appointment, which is why they didn’t. I didn’t know what to do but I knew I didn’t want it. I had about a month left when I tried to kill it.” I hung my head in shame a little, looking back, sniffling.  
“My mother walked in on me in the kitchen with a knife about to stab myself, she screamed at me not to and lunged forward catching the knife just before I plunged into my stomach. She caused it to go kinda diagonal into my belly though and I pulled it out. I don’t remember much else after that but I woke in the hospital alone. The doctors told me that I’d been left on the pavement bleeding and unconscious, outside the emergency room entrance, someone blaring a horn before driving away leaving me there.”  
“They’d also told me the baby wasn’t harmed but they had to get it out and that she survived. When I saw her, it changed me. I vowed to myself to try and give her everything I could. A better life than I had and I tried. I did.”

“What they do with you both after that?” he questioned. 

“We were put with this older couple who lived in this cabin near the woods. I helped the woman with Sophia, wanting to know what to do and it’s where I learned to shoot and hunt and what not, from her husband. They were simple people but kind. Good people and I appreciated what they did for us.” I answered.

“So, they get infected when it all happened?” he asked. 

“No. They died way before. We were only with them for a couple years cause the cabin burned down one night and they didn’t make it out. I waited but I was just watching it all burn, taking them with it. I didn’t know how happened, I just figured the stove had been left on by accident or something, cause I’d find it left on from time to time. I thought they must’ve got carbon monoxide poisoning in their sleep from all the smoke and fire, cause I was pretty dazed trying to get out with Sophia after I woke.”  
“Then we ended up in the next town. Laying low because I took Sophia and ran. I took the opportunity to just look after her on my own and we stayed there for years as she grew, with this man who owned a bar there. He kinda became our family.”  
“I never worked my way up to tell her the truth, the whole of it anyway. All she knew was me, no one else and that we were left when she was a baby. It was easy to say we were sisters, both to her and other people. I didn’t want to tell her while she was so young and she didn’t need to learn about the circumstances of how she came into this world. But I could have told her I was her mother. I could’ve. And I never did.” I explained, composing myself when I finally stopped.

“I know it don’t really mean jack me saying but- all of that. I’m sorry it happened. Shit like that ain’t right. Especially to a young girl.” He comforted. 

“Yeah.” I paused. “Shit. I really went off on one. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I had so much to say, it just kept pouring out.” I almost whisper.

“Nah, no need to say sorry. And no need to feel guilty for anything, alright? You did good by that girl, what you could. And she loved ya for it. Don’t matter she didn’t know. She was happy, even in all this. You did that. Nothin’ else matters now. You just gotta remember that.” He clarified, still soft in his tone. I leant my head against his shoulder. “Yeah, you’re right.” I replied.

We hadn’t moved, watching the fire die down as I talked. It was still a light but nearing its end. “So, you gonna tell me about your dad? I assume you’d talk about him because you seemed to freeze up when I mentioned him before.” I point out.

“Ain’t much to talk about. He was just an ass that drank too much and didn’t give a damn ‘bout me or Merle. He did what he did whether he was mad about something after getting drunk or mad he couldn’t get drunk, or just drunk or mad alone. Wasn’t fussy about what he used, though a belt seemed to be his choice favourite. He hit on Merle mostly, but when he finally split for good for a while, it was all put on me. How I got all my scars, from his hand.” He explained.

“What about your mom? Was she around?” I asked.

“Nah, not really. When I was a kid, she died in a house fire, like yours, and I saw it burn. Except I know how it happened. She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia Slims. It was after that our dad started on us.” he answered.

“I’m sorry too.” I say, but he doesn’t reply. “Guess we’re both pretty damaged, huh.” I whisper.

“Nah. Makes us stronger.” He declares.

“Yeah, you’re right. Again.” I reply, watching the fire die as I thought about how I just opened up about my past and made myself so vulnerable to Daryl and he didn’t fuss, he didn’t act dramatic in any way, he hardly even said a word. He just listened. He had been the only one to make sure I didn’t fall into a black hole of despair and I found myself realising the more this man did for me, the closer we got, the more I was attached and fond of him. I didn’t want to let him go.


	19. nineteen

Morning had come by and T-Dog had come up to our camp, letting us know that Rick, Glenn and Hershel hadn’t come back yet, that they were still out there from yesterday. Shane had asked him to come get us cause he needed and wanted us with him, T-Dog and Andrea on the run to find them. This time we, of course, didn’t dismiss it and came back with T to the main camp.

We were getting ready by one of the cars when I spotted another in the distance, driving back onto the farm. It was them. We rushed over to meet them as they parked outside the house. Carl and Lori embracing Rick while Maggie ran to Glenn, missing Hershel, who began marching towards the house.

“Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery.” He said to her as he approached her by her side. I looked back to Rick talking with Lori and Shane, he looked fine and Glenn too. Who needed surgery? That’s when I noticed someone else in the car.

“Who the hell is that?” I call out, pointing to the person in the car and everyone turned to look. He was wearing a blindfold I noticed as I stepped a little closer.

“That’s Randall.” Glenn said.

Rick and Glenn had gotten this guy, Randall, inside to get treated by Hershel and the group had headed inside to discuss what to do with him after Rick had brought him back after a fight with people from another group in the town broke out between them, while they were retrieving Hershel.

Daryl and I came inside as Rick was explaining what had happened in the bar and the town. I wasn’t really coming in to contribute, more so I knew what was going on. Carol looked to us both as we came in and I gave her a small nod in acknowledgement after what I snapped at her last night and she smiled in return. Daryl and I stayed back and just listened in.

“We couldn’t just leave him behind. He would have bled out, if he lived that long.” Rick was explaining.

“It’s gotten bad in town.” Glenn adds.

“What do we do with him?” Andrea asks as Hershel enters the room interrupting any answer.

“I repaired his calf muscle as best I can. But he’ll probably have nerve damage. He won’t be on his feet for at least a week.” Hershel explains.

“When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way.” Rick declares his idea.

“Isn’t that the same as leaving him for the walkers?” Andrea argues.

“He’ll have a fighting chance.” Rick counters.

“You just going to let him go? He knows where we are.” Shane points out.

“He was blindfolded the whole way here. He’s not a threat.” Rick retorted.

“Not a threat. How many of them were there? You killed three of their men. You took one of ‘em hostage. But they just ain’t going to come looking for him.” Shane countered.

“They left him for dead. No one is looking.” Rick spat.

“We should still post a guard.” T-Dog mentions.

“He’s out cold right now. Will be for hours.” Hershel points out.

“You know, I’m going to go get him some flowers and candy. Look at this, folks. We back in fantasy land.” Shane spits sarcastically as he makes his way out of the room to leave.

“You know, we haven’t even dealt with what you did at my barn yet.” Hershel starts, stopping Shane. “Let me make this perfectly clear once and for all. This is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour. Keep your mouth shut.” He shuts Shane down, who doesn’t form a response and walks out the house.

“Look. We’re not going to do anything about it today. Let’s just cool off.” Rick announces and the group begins to disperse so I move to get out quickly before the others, wanting to avoid people still mostly, Daryl right behind me.


	20. twenty

It had been a week since Randall had been brought back to the farm, the whole time he’d been recovering from his sever leg wound. Now he was able to be out and on his feet, Rick and Shane had gone out to drive him far away and leave him, so he couldn’t follow them back.

Daryl and I had been staying at our own little camp the whole time, away from the group, best we could. Just wanting that distance. Keeping ourselves to ourselves. We went out hunting together again and he was showing me more how to handle the crossbow, among other things. I could now shoot with it pretty good and at moving targets, as I’d got some animals with it and took down some walkers along the way. Even Daryl thought I’d picked it up quick. I’d also got my tracking back up to speed, having Daryl’s expertise to help finetune what I already knew and learn what I didn’t. We’d become quite the hunting and tracking pair, as well as close friends. We’d bonded. Although, I did on quite a few occasions wonder if we were closer than friends. There were moments where I felt like crossing that line, but I always kept myself in check, not wanting to potentially ruin what we had here. It was basically the only thing that had kept me going after Sophia and I didn’t want to lose it.

When Rick and Shane got back, they still had Randall with them and looked beaten and bloodied. They’d told us they had gotten into a walker situation and it was a close call, though given Shane’s behaviour recently, how him and Rick were practically disagreeing on everything and the fact Randall had come back with them, I bet they’d had a few licks at each other alongside the walkers. They’d found out Randall knew Maggie and Hershel, meaning he knew where the farm was. Rick wanted him locked in the barn until they could decide what to do with him, though it seemed he was most likely leaning to kill the boy, and in the meantime he asked Daryl and I if we would interrogate him. See if we could find anything out. Thinking it was best Shane didn’t do it and pointing out the kid seemed a little too confident around him, so a couple new faces would more than likely work better. We agreed. 

The following day, Daryl and I headed to the small barn Randall was tied in that morning to begin to interrogate him. Daryl took point with it as I stood by watching over, listening. He would ask him questions and punch him, repeatedly, for the answers if he didn’t give us what we wanted or said something not worth our while. All incentive to give us the information we wanted about his group.

Daryl punched him again, a few hits one after the other, Randall coughed out blood to the side, moaning in pain, “I told you.” He said.

“You ain’t told me shit.” Daryl spat as he grabbed him, pushing him back up against the wall.

“I barely knew those guys. I met ‘em on the road.” Randall exclaimed.

“How many in your group?” Daryl asked again but he just sighed, taking heavy breaths.

Daryl unsheathed his knife. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, man.” Randall pleaded from seeing his knife. Daryl brought it down in one quick swoop, right next to his leg. “How many?” he yelled.

“Ahh, ah, uh, thirty. Thirty-- thirty guys.” Randall stammered. “Where?” Daryl asked.

“Uhh-,” Randall murmoured as Daryl ripped his bandage off his leg wound off, placing the tip of his knife into the surface of it causing Randall to moan in pain.

“I don’t know. I swear! We were never any place more than a night.” he exclaims.

“Scouting? Planning on staying local?” Daryl probed sternly.

“I-I don’t know. They- they left me behind.” Randall stuttered.

“Did you ever pick off a scab?” Daryl questioned, holding a firm grip on his wounded leg with his knife still pressed on the wound.

“Come on, man, I’m- I’m trying to cooperate.” Randall pleaded.

“You start real slow, at first. Sooner or later, you just gotta rip it off.” Daryl explains, threateningly

“Okay. Okay. They-they-they-they have weapons- heavy stuff. Automatics. But- but I- I didn’t do anything.” Randall stutters.

“Your boys shot at my boys, tried to take this farm. You just went along for the ride. You trying to tell me you’re innocent?” Daryl said raising his voice.

“Yes!” Randell yelled. “These- these people took me in. not just guys- a- a- while group of ‘em- men and women. Uh, kids too, just like you people. Thought I’d have a better chance with them, you know?” Randall started explaining as Daryl removed his knife from his leg and stood up, stepping back to me. I stood there staring and listening, arms folded across my chest as Daryl stepped around slowly, listening too. “But we go out, scavenge- just the men. One night we- we found this little campsite. A man and his two daughters. Teenagers, you know? Real young, real cute.” Randal paused and I clicked as to where this story was most likely headed, my arms coming back down to my sides. Daryl obviously clicked too as he had just stepped next to me but turned back slowly towards Randall at the realisation of what he was going to say. Randall read our faces; he sighed before he continued.

“The dad had to watch while these guys, they-- and they didn’t even kill ‘em afterwards. They just- they just made him watch. His daughters- just- just- just left them there.” He explained, his head down. I could tell Daryl was getting enraged, repulsed by what he had said; I was the same. My hands had turned into fists at my side in revulsion and anger. Randall looked up as he started stuttering again.

“No, but- bu- bu- but I didn’t- I didn’t touch those girls. Now, I swear. I ain’t touched--,” Randall’s interrupted as Daryl kicks his wounded leg and he cries out in pain.

“Please. Please. You gotta believe me, man. I’m not like that. I ain’t like that. Please. Please, you gotta believe me.” He cries.

I can see Daryl is about to go for him again, but I stop him, grabbing his arm. He turns to face me and we lock eyes. He steps back as a heavy breathing; panicked Randall thanks me.

“Hey, l-lady, thank- thank you.” He breathes as I turn to face him.

“Don’t thank me yet.” I say just before I take over from what Daryl did, kicking his wounded leg too. I then begin punching his face, over and over again, grunting, exasperated by what he’d just told us. Even if he didn’t do anything, he was there, he watched and did nothing. Those poor girls and her father. They’re why I couldn’t stop and why I wanted to strike him over and over. I feel a hand on my shoulder, slightly pulling me back and I stop, stepping back looking over at moaning, bloodied Randall on the floor. 

“You good?” he quietly asked. “Fine.” I say. I look down at my fists, my knuckles and fingers bloodied too, matching Daryl’s now, stretching and rubbing my hands as Daryl tied Randall back up. 

“Come on.” He says, gesturing for us to leave.

We walk back to the group from the barn, all of whom were waiting huddled together around the camp fire for whatever it is we’d found out. Daryl began relaying what Randall had told us as we neared the group, coming to a stop.

“Your boy there’s got a gang- thirty men. They got heavy artillery and they ain’t looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they’re gonna--,” he pauses for a second, but I finish for him.

“They’re gonna wish they were.” I state.

“What did you do?” Dale asked, who I saw had glanced at our hands as he said.

Daryl and I shared a quick look before I answered.

“We both had a little chat with him.” I say.

“No one goes near this guy.” Rick declares.

“Rick, what are you gonna do?” Lori asks.

“We have no choice, he’s a threat. We have to eliminate the threat.” He states.

“You’re just gonna kill him?” Dale questions.

“It’s settled. We’ll do it today.” Rick says, before he walks off, Dale hot on his trail.


	21. twenty one

Daryl and I had returned back up to our camp after Rick had declared they’d kill Randall today. Having done our part requested of us, we’d headed back up. I had cleaned my hands, offering to do Daryl’s too which he dismissed at first, but I insisted. I relished any contact I could get from him and as I cleaned his hands I thought back to earlier. That morning we had woke almost wrapped up in each other. I’d opened my eyes to find Daryl’s arm had draped over me in his sleep, his hand resting loosely against my stomach as I laid on my side. I turned my head slowly back to look at him and saw he had rolled over onto his side at the edge of his bed, bringing his arm over me in the night no doubt. Bringing us into this close embrace as we both laid at the edges of our beds, that were next to each other in the small tent. I was comfortable in this position and wanted to savour the moment, so I rolled my head back and closed my eyes but soon after I felt him start to stir. His arm gently tightened around my waist, bringing me into him in the slightest movement as he woke from his sleep which sent a small shiver down my body. When he fully awoke, he didn’t say anything, just hovered his arm over me before he removed it and sat up to put his boots on. I rolled onto my back to face him.

“Morning.” I’d spoke quietly. He looked at me while he put his boots on and made his usual murmur. “Mmhmm.” He’d hummed before leaving the tent. I didn’t know where I stood Daryl, but I tried not thinking about it or into it too much. Enjoying whatever pleasantries we shared in our time together.

A little later, I was helping Daryl make his own arrows for his crossbow when Dale appeared before us. Daryl looked over and sighed, stood above me sorting the arrows as I whittled one.

“Whole point of us coming up here is to get away from you people.” He stated.

“Gonna take more than that.” Dale retorted. “Clearly.?” I replied, thinking how despite coming up here, people had been coming over again and again. “Carol send you?” I add.

“Carol’s not the only one that’s concerned about you both- your new role in the group.” Dale implied, obviously referring to what happened with Randall.

“Oh, man, I don’t need my head shrunk.” Daryl retaliates, carrying on sorting the arrows.

“This group’s broken, Dale.” I quickly chime in. “Exactly. We’re better off fending for ourselves.” Daryl added.

“You’re both acting like you don’t care.” Dale says.

“Yeah, it’s cause I don’t.” Daryl replies, putting his angel winged, sleeveless leather jacket on. I knew this meant he was tired of the conversation already and was going to go off hunting like we’d planned after finishing the arrows but clearly that had changed to now.

“And you Y/N? he looks at me, pausing for a split second. “So live or die, you both don’t care what happens to Randall?” Dale asks.

“Nope.” I plainly say as I stand, strapping my sword to my back and Daryl carrying on readying himself to leave.

“Then why not stand with me- try to save the kid’s life, if it really doesn’t matter one way or the other?” he points out.

“I didn’t peg you for a desperate son of a bitch.” Daryl says.

“Both of your opinions makes a difference.” Dale states.

“Man, there ain’t nobody looking to me for nothing. They just like us running errands, doing some dirty work.” Daryl declares, grabbing his crossbow starting to leave as I step to follow but we’re stopped by Dale’s persistence to talk.

“Carol is. And- and I am, right now. And you obviously- have Rick’s ear. Both of you do. I mean, Y/N you’ve had it since Atlanta.” Dale announces but I don’t respond, turning to leave, stepping forward towards Daryl.

“Rick just looks to Shane. Let him.” Daryl sternly puts as I come up to him and he turns back too.

“You cared about what happened to Sophia--” Dale calls out, stopping us both. Daryl turns as Dale continues. “Cared what it meant to the group. Cared more what it meant to Y/N.” I then turn around to face Dale as he looks to me. “You know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be up here with him. And you cared when he came back wounded.” Dale points out but neither of us say anything before he continues.

“Torturing people? That isn’t either of you. You’re decent people. So is Rick. Shane is different.” 

“Why is that? Cause he killed Otis.” I suddenly reply.  
Dale’s already serious expression turns even more so as he steps forward towards us. “He tell you that?” he asks.

“Didn’t have to. He told some story, how Otis covered him, and saved his ass. But he showed up with a dead guy’s gun.” I explained.

“Rick ain’t stupid. He didn’t figure that out, it’s cause he didn’t wanna. Like Y/N said- the group’s broken.” Daryl adds before walking off, I face Dale and shrug slightly and go to follow but he stops me again.

“And like I said. Your opinions make a difference. Rick’s given me time to talk to others. We’re going to reconvene at sundown. You both should be there.” He states as I just hold our stare before walking off this time, following after Daryl.


	22. twenty two

At sunset, we’d joined the group inside the farmhouse to discuss what to do, once again, with Randall. Daryl and I kept back like before, nearer to the door as the discussion began. Rick and a few others seemed set on killing him but he says he wants to know if anyone believes we should spare him. While a lot just remain quiet Dale tries his best to convince people killing him is wrong. He thought Glenn was on his side but it turned out was with the majority. Dale as a last hope for someone turned to Maggie.

“How about you? Do you agree with this?” he questions her.

She sighs. “Couldn’t we continue keeping him prisoner?” she asks, looking over at Rick.

“It’s just another mouth to feed.” Daryl points out.

Others start chiming in, coming up with some ideas and solutions on keeping him alive, though no one sounds convinced. Dale still pushing his hardest on it.

“Look, say we let him join us, right? Maybe- maybe he’s helpful. Maybe he’s nice. And we let our guard down. Then maybe he runs off, brings back his thirty men.” Shane points out. I didn’t trust Randall. The way he spoke about his group, what they did but mostly how he described those girls. Only to dismiss it and say he had no part in it when he saw our angered faces. I didn’t trust him one bit. He would want out of here the first chance he got; I believed Shane’s point. I didn’t want to see what would happen if they’re men came to this farm.

“So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt? If we do this, we’re saying there’s no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilisation.” Dale exclaims, earning an eye roll from Shane. 

“Could you drive him further out? Leave him like you planned?” Hershel questions.

“You barely came back this time. There are walkers. You could break down. You- you could get lost.” Lori point outs.

“You could get ambushed.” Daryl added.

“We should not put our own people at risk.” Glenn states.

Patricia had asked if they’d go through with it, killing the boy, how they’d do it which starts off Rick and Shane talking about what would be more humane, and others asking about after, much to Dale’s disgust. 

“Woah, hold on, hold on. You’re talking about this like it’s already decided.” He exclaims.

“We’ve been talking all day, going around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?” I retort, finally chiming into the discussion.

Shane insists we all know what has to be done and the group starts up again about thinking up every possible solution, not leaving anything unturned but no one has come up with a single viable option yet, something always stopping each one from becoming a solution. So, we were just going around in circles, like I’d just said. Dale starts off on a tangent of protest against killing the boy. How he’s already been treated so poorly and now he was going to be executed without as so much as a five a minute conversation because we don’t know what else to do with him. 

“How are we any better than those people that we’re so afraid of? He asks.

“Because we don’t pillage, raid and rape innocent people we come across.” I argue.

“No, we just execute them.” he counters. “He’s far from innocent, Dale.” I declare.

He continues on protesting, arguing every point made until people start talking over each other and yet again we were back where we started. Rick pulled the attention of the group to a silence.

“Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance.” Rick announces but no one speaks up at all. There’s a long pause before Dale once again pipes up.

“You once said that we don’t kill the living.” Dale reminded Rick.

“Well, that was before the living tried to kill us.” Rick argued.

“But don’t you see? If we do this, the- the people that we were- the- the world that we knew is dead. And this new world is ugly. It’s harsh. It- it- it’s survival of the fittest.” He exclaims, people not knowing what to say, so I speak up.

“I hate to burst your bubble Dale, but the world has always been ugly, it’s always been survival of the fittest. It’s not a new world, it hasn’t changed.” I state.

“No. No, I don’t believe that. That’s a world I don’t want to live in. And I don’t believe any of you do, I can’t.” He pauses for a second as he looks back to me. “I don’t believe that’s a world you would have wanted Sophia to grow up in. Please. Let’s just do what’s right.” He pleads but his comment about Sophia infuriates me and I push myself off from leaning against the wall, slapping my arms down to my sides in annoyance.

“Okay, you know what. I’m sick of people using Sophia as something to throw in my face to make a point. I’m sick of all the looks of pity and concern you people are still giving me. I lost my daughter; I didn’t lose my mind. But that’s what you all want to know about right. Why I never said about her being my child. Well fine, I’ll tell you.” 

I feel Daryl’s hand on my arm, as he whispers to me “Hey, you don’t have to tell-,” but I shrug his touch off, too angry to stop and continue in a tone of irritation.

“Now, Dale, you can stand there and say the world we knew is dead but it’s not, everything people are doing now they did it before. And I don’t know about any of you but this- this is just me. My dad was murdered right in front of me when I was even younger Carl, my stepmom killed herself because of it a month later and I found her in the bathtub after school. I had to live permanently with my mother who had a thing for taking her fists, knives, cigarettes, you name it, to me for years. Then at thirteen, her new husband started raping me, and she did nothing to stop it. She just let him get on with it and then I had Sophia shortly after. I tried to kill her a month before she was due because they wouldn’t let me get rid of it. I stabbed myself but missed Sophia thank god and they left me bleeding on the pavement outside the emergency room after honking the horn. And I was happy to never see them again.” I paused for moment, composing myself because I wasn’t taking a breath as I ranted. Everyone looked shocked at me, but I continued. “Then when we put with a nice couple and I thought we were going to be able to live a nice life but two years in, they were taken from me too, from us both. I sat outside with Sophia as the house burned down with them in it. Helpless. I mean I’d barely made it out with Sophia. I was sixteen and alone with my two year old daughter. There, now you all know.”  
“For us, the world had been cruel. It was ugly. It was harsh. And we had to survive because it was survival of the fittest. The weak get taken. It’s how it’s always been. And yeah, now, here we are, in an apocalyptic walker world where my daughter has just died. Twice. She didn’t deserve any of it. But the world isn’t fair Dale. People have never played fair and they never will. People are always hurt and there’s nothing you can do, if you wanna survive you gotta get real about the world we live in Dale.”  
“Now that boys group out there is a threat. If they come here, they’re gonna do a whole lot of nasty shit going off what Randall told us. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t wanna go through that. We need to deal with it and end it otherwise, like I said, we’re gonna keep going in circles.” Dale and everyone looks at me in shock, not knowing what to say at my outburst. I’ve somewhat calmed when look back to Dale.

“The worlds exactly the same Dale, there’s just dead people walking around in it.” I finish calmly, leaning back against the wall, a little shocked at myself now for everything I’s just blurted out at the group. Everything was out in the open now. I felt Daryl inch closer, his arm now pressed against mine and I knew that was his way of saying he was there, to somewhat soothe me.

I can see Dale is trying to formulate words for a response, while the others stand there dumbfounded.

“Y/N, I-- I’m sorry. Truly sorry, I am.” Dale pauses as he fumbles with his hat. “But just because there are bad people in this world, that do bad monstrous things, it does not mean we then have to be the same.” He gently counters. “Isn’t there anybody else that’s gonna stand with me?” he questions. There’s yet another pause from the whole group until Andrea speaks up.

“He’s right. We should try to find another way.” She backs.

“Anybody else?” Rick asks looking across the group, answered with silence. He looks back to Dale with a look that says it’s decided.

“Are you all gonna watch, too? Nah, you’ll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we’re slaughtering a human being. I won’t be a party to it.” he spits, tears welling in his eyes as he goes to walk out the house, coming up towards Daryl and I. He puts his hand on my shoulder, looking to us both.

“This group is broken.” He announces, agreeing with our earlier statement back at our camp before he takes off out the house.


	23. twenty three

Everyone stayed inside the house a bit longer. Discussing the details of the now decided execution of Randall but I didn’t stick around and instead went after Dale. The mention of Sophia had thrown me off and I couldn’t stop myself once I started. He was a good man, with a good heart. I couldn’t fault him for that and I wanted to let him know that just because of what had happened with him and the group, he wasn’t alone. Thinking that’s how he must have felt right now.

“Dale!” I call out to him, catching up to him at the main camp. He turns to acknowledge me.

“Hey, I’m sorry for my outburst in there. You said Sophia and I exploded. I guess I’m still dealing with the aftermath.” I start.

“No, you’re alright. I get it. You’ve seem to have been through your unfair share of the bad side of the world. I really am sorry to hear it. And I’m sorry for mentioning Sophia the way I did.” He replied. I nod accepting his reply.

“Look, I want you to know. I know that killing isn’t right, and that actually none of this is right. But it’s not wrong either. There are no rules now so it makes it difficult, but these things happened when there were rules. What are we supposed to do if we want to keep the group safe, but we also have to be- what, ethical to Randall- we can’t have both.” I calmly explain.

“I understand where you’re coming from. I do. In a sense, I actually agree with you, I know the world is a shitty place and I’m sorry for what it’s done to you but I know you’re a good person. I know the people here are good and killing a person isn’t going to keep them that way.” He retorts.

“Maybe. But did you see everyone in there? If we killed him without a second’s glance, and everyone was walking around gleefully during and after it, that’s when I’d be worried. That’s what would make us monsters, if we lost our emotions. But from the looks of things, and everyone’s faces, we all got ‘em still. No one truly wants to kill him, they just think we don’t have any other choice and quite frankly I don’t either. If he gets out he’ll only go back to what he knows; it’ll be his group and like I said, I don’t want to watch what happens next, and I know you wouldn’t either.” I counter and he looks a little defeated, not knowing what to say any longer, tears still in his eyes. 

I put my hand on his arm in comfort. “Hey, I’m sorry to put you on the spot like that, again, I just didn’t want you going off angry is all.” I explain.

“I know you mean well. You’ve been through an ordeal; I get it and I understand. I was the same when my wife died.” He pauses. “Just take some advice from an old man.” He starts. I give him a small smile n nod in acknowledgement.

“Just don’t let what happened consume you. Don’t let your anger on the world turn you into something you’re not. You’re a good person Maxine, just remember that.” He declares. I bring him into a hug and over his shoulder I say, “I will.” He then breaks the hug, squeezing my shoulder, giving me a small smile this time and proceeds to walk off.

Later that evening, it had turned dark pretty quickly and we, Rick, Shane, Daryl and I, were now taking a tied up Randall to be executed in the main barn. Daryl was leading him there, pushing him along and into the middle of the barn where Shane proceeded to blindfold him.

“It’s all gonna be over soon.” Shane says to him quietly. “Wha- what’s gonna be over soon?” Randall questions, now even more nervous. Shane tells him to relax but he starts to panic, beginning to cry, repeatedly saying no and please in realisation of what was happening.

“Would you like to stand or kneel?” Rick sombrely asks him but he just cries and pleads no. Daryl puts him on his knees.

“Do you have any final words?” Rick questions but again, he just carries on crying, pleading for us to stop. It wasn’t exactly nice to watch, or even hear, but we had to do what had to be done.

Rick aimed his gun at Randall’s head, cocking it ready to shoot. He hesitates, holding it there when we all suddenly hear Carl. “Do it, dad. Do it.” he says, standing at the barn entrance. Rick looks to Shane, with a look of distress, and Shane walks towards Carl going to take him away, muttering things to him I couldn’t hear. All the while, as Rick is still holding his gun to Randall but the battle inside him now at the sight of seeing and hearing Carl, was extremely evident on his face. He lowered his gun.

“Take him away.” He ordered. Daryl and I shared a glance and he grabbed him, pulling Randall to his feet as Shane stormed off at the change of plan in annoyance.

We’d taken Randall back to the other, smaller barn we had been keeping him tied up. I was assisting Daryl tying Randall back up when there were sudden shouts and yells coming out from the field behind the barn in the distance. I ran immediately out to see what was going on; Daryl close behind after finishing the last tie. I was sprinting over towards the noise, suddenly clocking it was Dale and a walker was on top of him.

“Dale!” I shouted after him in panic and his yells then suddenly changed into deafening screams of pain. I ran as fast as I could, unsheathing my knife from my belt as I came up to Dale and tackled the walker off of him on to the ground. I leaned myself up over the snarling walker and stabbed it straight in the head as Daryl was over Dale shouting to the others who were running this way.

“Help! Over here! Help! Run!” he shouted as I crawled up next to Dale seeing the walker had ripped his stomach open completely. 

“Oh, hang in there, Dale. Hang on.” I said to him panicking looking him over, as I knelt next to him.

The others arrived all talking over each other, gasping and panicking at the sight of Dale. Rick was next to Dale trying to reassure him and then shouting for Hershel. Andrea came up, replacing him at his side, whispering to him to hold on, crying over him. I knew there was nothing Hershel could do. He was torn to shreds. I put my hand to his cheek, tears streaming down mine and whispered ‘I’m sorry’ as he looked at me. I stood up to give Andrea space and moved away, staring at Dale in shock and grief, crying, like so many of the others. Hershel had arrived and said there was nothing to be done, he wouldn’t make it. Dale was just laid there, groaning and moaning in pain.

“He’s suffering.” I say. “Do something.” Andrea blubbers.

Rick holds out his gun at Dale, shaking and trying to hold back his cries. Daryl clearly seeing he couldn’t do it, comes up beside him and gently takes the gun from Rick. He kneels down, aiming the gun at Dale’s head.

“Sorry, brother.” He says just before he pulls the trigger. Putting him out of his misery.


	24. twenty four

At the funeral for Dale, Rick had said that the best way to honour him was to set aside our differences, pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives and safety and future. To unbreak the group as he’d said in front of everyone that we were broken. Repeating my words. Rick said that we were gonna prove him wrong, that we were gonna do it his way. That was how we honoured him. And he was right. Dale’s last words lingering in my head. We had to better for him.

Hershel had permitted all of us to move inside the house, saying they should have brought us in a while ago with the swamp hardening and the creek drying up, plus with all the cattle on the property. We all moved our stuff inside, bringing the cars and things closer towards the house. Daryl and I even brought our stuff back down and moved in with the others into the house. Back with the group.

Rick had asked Daryl and I to accompany him to take Randall out again and leave him somewhere. That it was the right plan, first time around, it was just poorly executed. After, moving all the stuff inside the house, finding spots for everyone to sleep and live in, Rick, Daryl and I started readying to leave. Looking over a map, we made a plan.

“Alright, so we take him out to Senoia, an hour there, an hour back, give or take. We may lose the light, but we’ll be halfway home by then.” Rick confirms.

“And this whole pain in the ass will be a distant memory.” Daryl says. “Good riddance.” I add.

“Carol’s putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days. She’s bringing ‘em over to us any minute.” Rick announced.

“Alright. I’ll go get the package.” Daryl said, walking off to fetch Randall, leaving me and Rick.

“Hey, I haven’t actually said how sorry I am abou-,” Rick began but I cut him off.

“Stop. You don’t have to apologise for anything. You did everything you could. We all did. Just gotta move on. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves, isn’t that what you said we have to do. Look to the future. That’s what I’m trying to do.” I explain.

“Okay. Good. It’s good to have you back.” He says, a small smile itching onto his face. “What?” I ask, noticing it.

“Any of it got anything to do with Daryl?” he teased, smirking.

“Alright, keep talking, see where you end up.” I joke, earning a chuckle from him.

“What, you seem to have got pretty close with each other, it’s an innocent question.” He smiles.

I sigh. “He’s just a real easy person to be around. I enjoy his company and I’m always comfortable around him, so I naturally drift towards him. I get him and he gets me.” I explain.

“Mmhmm.” Rick mumbles with a smirk. “Oh, don’t ‘mmhmm’ me Grimes, I get enough of that from him.” I joke, both of us chuckling.

“Well, I’m glad to have you both back with us. Even if it seems to have changed from an officer and a samurai to the redneck and the samurai.” He jokes, making himself chuckle. 

I laugh at the bad joke he’d just made. “Oh, come on officer friendly, you’re still my friend.” We smile. “Also, I’d advise not to repeat the nickname in front of Daryl.” I smirk. “Noted.” Rick chuckles when we hear Daryl shouting at us from a distance, running over and gesturing for us to come to the barn where Randall was. Except when we got there, he wasn’t. He was missing.

We checked around the barn and I couldn’t see anything that showed he’d escaped and broken out, he’d just vanished. While we looked it over, the rest of the group had come running over, having heard Daryl’s shouts, asking what was going on. We all discuss how this could have happened, but it all seemed off. He looked as if he’d just easily slipped his cuffs, which wasn’t an easy thing to do and the door was secured from the outside which meant someone must have opened the door. I mean maybe he could have slipped his cuffs and got the jump on someone but, he was a small framed guy with a limp, easily overpowered. My thoughts and the discussion were interrupted by Shane shouting for Rick, breaking out the treeline of the woods, his nose bloodied, marching towards us as everyone turned to see him.

“What happened?” Lori shouted over to him

“He’s armed! He’s got my gun.” He yells.

“You okay?” Carl asks, shouting.

“I’m fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me, clocked me in the face.” Shane exclaimed, still marching towards us.

“Alright. Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Y/N, Daryl, come with us.” Rick orders and Daryl arms his crossbow as I unsheathe my sword.

“T, I’m gonna need that gun.” Shane points.

“Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn’t it? Just let him go.” Carol asks, as T-Dog hands Shane the gun.

“The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun.” Rick barks as all four of us start heading for the woods.

“Don’t go out there. Y’all know what could happen.” Carol pleads.

“Get everybody back in the house, lock all the doors, and stay put.” Rick orders as we walk away and the others run back to the house.

Shane led us through the woods to the spot where he had been jumped by Randall, though I wasn’t seeing any tracks. Something already seemed off about it and seeing Shane was at the forefront of this, I wasn’t surprised if something else had gone down.

“I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out. I’m not sure how long.” Shane explains.

“He couldn’t have gotten far. He’s hobbled, exhausted.” Rick assures.

“And armed.” I add. “So are we.” Rick retorts. “Can you both track him?” he asks, looking at pointing to us both.

“No, I don’t see nothing.” Daryl replies. “You?” he asks, looking at me. “Nope. Nothing.” I say.

“Hey, look, there ain’t no use in tracking him, okay? He went that way. We just need to pair up. We spread out. We just chase him down. that’s it.” Shane barks, gesturing to the direction he says Randall went.

“Kid was a buck-25 soaking wet, you trying to tell us he got the jump on you?” I question.

“I’d say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn’t you?” Shane spits.

“Alright, alright. Knock it off. You two start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane will take the left. Remember, Randall’s not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other.” Rick orders and we separate.

We search the woods going into the night, the dark making it hard to scout or follow anything. Daryl has a torchlight but it’s still hard.

“This is pointless. We’re not gonna find anything out here. We should head back and scout the area there, I bet we’ll find something. I don’t buy his story and he’s lied before, with Otis. He could be doing the same thing here.” I theorise.

“Yeah, I was thinking that too. Come on, let’s go. If you’re gonna do a thing, you might as well do it right.” He answers and we head back to the spot Shane led us to.

Back there, we scout around and finally find some tracks.

“There’s two sets of tracks here. Shane must’ve followed him a lot longer than he said.” Daryl pointed out as we walked with the tracks to a tree. He shines the light on it and we see a patch of blood on the bark.

“That blood looks fresh.” I say. 

He shines the torch back down and we uncover more tracks. “There’s more tracks. Looks like they’re walking in tandem.” He clarifies as we follow them to a spot, stopping in front of it, looking like something happened.

“Yeah, there was a definitely a little dust up right here. Something went down for sure.” I state, looking at the tracks as we keep moving and then Daryl spots the blindfold we used on Randall. “Had a little trouble.” He says looking at the spot with it in.

Branches suddenly crack near us and we rush to take cover behind a couple trees. We peer round to see a walker staggering in this direction and Daryl quietly whistles for my attention, chucking the torchlight for me to catch so he can grip his crossbow. The walker draws near, coming towards us in between the two trees we were behind and I go to swing my sword when I shine the torch, only to see that the walker is Randall and I stare a split second too long because as I’m about to swing at him, he’s able to try and grab at my chest, pushing me back as Daryl rounds his tree and aims his crossbow. I trip over backwards, but Daryl’s movements distract Randall causing him to turn to him and Daryl shoots but misses as Randall lunges at him suddenly, grabbing the crossbow and pushing against it. Now sending Daryl down, against the tree as Randall tries to get at him, very close to Daryl while he holds him back as I get up and I drop the sword not wanting to swing it that close to Daryl’s head. I quickly rush behind Randall, grabbing him and Daryl swings his bow across his face, aiding my pull of getting him off, sending us both to the ground as I’m still holding him. We land with him on top of me and I roll him so I come out on top of him, quickly grabbing my sword and using both hands, bringing it down into his skull. I rise to a stand and step off from Randall, next to Daryl, both of us breathing heavy after the fight, looking at him on the ground. Daryl taps my arm saying, “Nice.” I nod and pull my sword out of Randall’s head.

Once I pull it out, Daryl and I crouch down to inspect him. He shines the light on his face and then focusses on his neck, assessing it. “Got his neck broke.” He says. The situation just keeps getting more inconsistent as it goes on I think. Daryl looks him over before flipping him and checking his back for any bites.

“He’s got no bites.” He declares. We share a confused look. “Yeah, none you can see. He must have one.” I state.

“No, I’m telling you, he died from this.” Daryl reiterates, pointing at Randall’s neck.

“How is that even possible?” I question, both of us looking at each other in puzzlement. 

Daryl rises up, saying, “Come on, let’s get back. Tell the others.” And I nod, rising up too, both of us heading back to the farmhouse through the woods.


	25. twenty five

Making our way inside the house, we come into the room with the whole group hauled up in, Rick and Shane not among them.

“Rick and Shane ain’t back?” Daryl asks.

“No.” Lori says.

“We heard a shot.” I say.

“Maybe they found Randall.” She speculates.

“We found him.” I state.

“Is he back in the shed?” Patricia asks.

“He’s a walker.” Daryl tells them.

“Did you find the walker that bit him?” Hershel questions. Daryl and I share a quick glance before I answer.

“No. The weird thing is he wasn’t bit. His neck was broke.” I announce.

“So he fought back.” Andrea says.

“The thing is Shane and Randell’s tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain’t no tracker, so he didn’t come up behind him. No, they were together.” Daryl explains.

Lori comes up to stand in front of me, looking to both of us. “Would you please get back out there and find Rick and Shane, and find out what on earth is going on?” she asks distressed.

Daryl and I look at each other and he nods back to Lori as I say, “You got it.” she touches my arm as we move off, “Thank you.” She says.

As Daryl and I come onto the porch, Glenn and Andrea following us, we see that a herd of walkers, a significantly large one, was headed straight for the farmhouse, coming across the land’s fields. Their snarls and moans heard from a distance. The other’s come out to see and Hershel tells Patricia to kill the lights of the house as Andrea heads inside for the guns.

“Maybe they’re just passing, like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?” Glenn questions.

“Not unless there’s a tunnel downstairs I don’t know about. A herd that size will rip the house down.” I answer.

Lori comes out onto the porch and announces that Carl’s gone. “What?” Daryl questions.

“He-, he was upstairs. I can’t find him anymore.” She says.

“Maybe he’s hiding.” Glenn points out.

“He’s supposed to be upstairs. I’m not leaving without my boy.” She declares.

“Hey. We won’t. Take Carol, look again, you’re gonna find him.” I state as Andrea comes back out with the guns and they rush back inside.

Andrea hands out the guns, Maggie grabbing two, handing one to Glenn while keeping one for herself, much to Glenn’s surprise. “You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two.” She tells him.

“I got the number. It’s no use.” Daryl says as people load the guns, myself included, although I know he’s right.

“You can go if you want.” Hershel tells him.

“You’re gonna take them all on?” Daryl questions as a rise up with a few loaded guns, handing one to him.

“We have guns. We have cars.” Hershel answers, cocking his shotgun.

“Kill as many as we can. Then we can use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm.” I announce, picking up off of what Hershel said.

“Are you serious?” he asks, looking to me and Hershel.

“This is my farm. I’ll die here.” He declares.

“Alright. It’s a good a night as any.” Daryl says, swinging his legs over the porch and jumping down. He turns to see me doing the same as I land next to him and we start off towards the cars.

“Wanna take another ride?” he asks as we march over to the bike.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I reply, looking to him with a smirk, making him chuckle.

Andrea and T-Dog get in the truck, Glenn and Maggie get in one of the cars and Jimmy drives the RV while Daryl and I were on his bike. As everyone got in the cars, we saw that the barn had caught on fire somehow. It must be Rick and Shane I thought, and maybe Carl was with them, if he wasn’t in the house? 

We all began to drive off, Daryl and I stopping at the wire fence that surrounded the farmhouse and the field that hosted the now burning barn. Bringing myself off the bike, I stand next to it as Daryl stands over it, both of us shotting at the walkers in the field, approaching the fence line. The others were driving up and down it, shooting the walkers down as one drove and the other shot. Jimmy parking the RV in the gateway to attempt to block it from the walkers, shooting the walkers from it also. We do this for as long as we can but the walkers keep coming and the ones at the front get to the fence. I hope back onto the bike as Daryl moves it up the fence line, that was now being taken down by the walkers, towards Jimmy in the RV.

“Yo! Must have been Rick or Shane started that fire. Maybe they’re trying to get out back. Why don’t you circle round? Go!” Daryl yells to him in the RV. “Got it.” Jimmy confirms back and starts driving towards the barn while Daryl and I join the others in shooting the walkers on the move. 

They had scattered themselves everywhere and the plan wasn’t working. They were over running the farm, swarming around us.

“They’re all over the place. There’s no corralling them. We’re gonna run out of ammo before we even make a dent.” I shout to Daryl from behind over the bike.

“There’s too many of ‘em. We’re gonna have to get outta here.” He shouts back before I continue shooting.

I notice the others from the house getting in the truck and I tap Daryl’s shoulder, pointing at them to show him that they were leaving as the truck pulls away and drives towards the track that leads off the property. I continue shooting, until I run out of ammo.

“I’m out!” I shout to him.

“Don’t matter! Farm’s lost! Let’s go!” Daryl shouts to me as I cling to his waist and he speeds off to follow the truck.

We were coming up the dirt road after the truck, the walkers not on it yet, still all by the barn and around the farmhouse, when I shout to Daryl.

“I didn’t see Rick or anyone come out the barn! We should wait and see if anyone’s still behind!” I shout and he stops the bike on the road.

We sit there waiting for any sign of anything. The barn burning ahead of us in the field. I don’t know how long we wait there but nothing happens. Not until we do hear a scream. A woman’s scream coming from the end of the road, nearer the house and walkers. Daryl immediately ignited the engine and we sped off towards the screams. It was Carol, with walkers on her trail. We come to a stop close to her and I hop off instantly, rushing towards her to hurry her to the bike. It’s only then I realised we both weren’t going to fit on the back of the bike. Probably should have thought that through before suggesting staying to help anyone, but here we were.

I ushered Carol onto the back of the bike and when I didn’t attempt to get on myself Daryl piped up.

“Come on, get on. We ain’t got all day.” He yells. “Daryl, you and I both know I can’t fit on, not a third person.” I yell back. “We can try. Come on!” he shouts.

“It’s not built for three Daryl and we don’t have time to argue. Go!” I shout at him.

“I ain’t leaving ya!” he yells. “Look out!” Carol cries and I turn around, swinging my katana. I take down a couple walkers that had staggered out in front of the main cluster of walkers approaching us, slicing at their heads. The walkers were getting closer and they needed to leave now. I did. I hear Daryl shout at me again.

“Y/N! Come on!”

I killed one last approaching walker that was too close before turning back to face them. “I’ll go into the woods. Make my way to the highway. I’ll get there I promise. I’m faster and can make it, Carol can’t. There’s no time, you need to go!” I yell.

“You’ll get overrun in the woods! I can’t leave ya Y/N!” he shouts at me. 

I step towards him and I hold his chin with my free hand, pulling him into a kiss. It’s quick. I linger only slightly, time not on our side right now. I wished it was longer. I wished it wasn’t now and I could savour the moment. But I can’t. In the short moment of the kiss, I feel him accept and return it, our lips locking together filling me with everything I needed to know. He tasted amazing and I didn’t want to let go. But I did. I had to. There wasn’t time to linger over the moment and as I broke the kiss I started backing away to the side of the track immediately, looking to Daryl with an expression I didn’t know how to describe, containing a lot of mixed emotions most likely.

“I’ll make it, Dixon! Now go! Now!” I shout at him and turn to run at the fence at the side of the track. The walkers having got dangerously close, I have to take down a few to give me the moment to leap the fence. And as I start swinging my sword, I hear Carol’s cries to go, as the walkers approach the bike and then I hear the roar of the bike driving off. The walkers keep coming and I get my moment to hop the fence. I clear it and without hesitation sprint for the woods across the field. Wanting to put as much distance between me and those walkers as possible and closing the distance between me and the highway as much as possible. I could do it. I just had to hope Daryl was wrong, that the woods wouldn’t be overrun. I could only hope.


	26. twenty six

Walkers had been coming from all directions, coming at me from every angle. I hadn’t stopped running since I started, only slowing to kill walkers that got too close. When I had started through the woods, they were everywhere. I had to cut so many down, I lost count of how many I killed but I pushed on, nothing stopping me from getting to that highway. 

The darkness when I had left the farm was now the morning light. I’d finally managed to get away from any walkers around, still making my way towards the highway. I’d come into a spot of the woods were I was the only one around and I took a moment to catch my breath. I leant against a tree, panting, I was exhausted. The combination of killing all the walkers with the running was now catching up to me. 

I suddenly heard gun shots. I looked up and around to see where they were and who they came from. I couldn’t see anything. They were close though. I contemplated to keep going, not to look or help but it was soon dismissed. What if it was someone from the farm, from the group? I took off in the direction as a few more rounds echoed. 

When I neared the noise, I had come up behind them. A small cluster of walkers was following this person. They’d stopped shooting, probably running out of ammo when I spotted it was Andrea. As soon as I clocked her out in front of all the walkers I rushed forward and started chopping them down from behind to get to Andrea. Several of them had turned at the sound of me starting to kill them, changing their direction towards me, while a few stayed on Andrea. As I was cutting down the last few, I spotted Andrea take a walker down with just her switchblade, the movement and exhaustion bringing her to one knee as the walker fell bringing her down with her as the last one of the walkers coming at her, lunged for her. She stumbled back, falling onto her back as it came for her. She was struggling to crawl away or pull herself up. I killed my last two walkers in one motion, swinging my sword bringing it through their heads one after the other and when they dropped, I saw Andrea. Suddenly the most desperate to get to her, seeing her crawling back on the ground, looking up at the last walker. I rushed forward as it got on top of her. She was holding it back, struggling and groaning when it’s head came clean off. She pushed the limp body off of her, looking up to me when I offered her my hand.

She took it, lifting her up as she said thanks. She brushed herself down.

“What happened? Weren’t you on Daryl’s bike?” she breathed.

“I was. Had to get Carol out. Better me making my way through here than her.” She nodded in acknowledgment as she caught her breath.

“We should get to highway, come on. I told Daryl I’d get there. That’s where they’ll be.” I said, tapping her arm as I stepped to walk off.

“They won’t be there. Not now, anyway, by the time we’ll have got there having been on foot. They won’t have waited this long.” She states, not stepping with me.

“They might’ve.” I answer. There’s a pause as looks at me unconvinced.

“I made a promise to get there so that’s what I’m gonna do. We’re close anyhow, we’ve got to at least try and see. What else we got to do?” I elaborate. 

She sighs, then steps forward. Both of us now heading to the highway, where I prayed the others were waiting.

\---

Rick Carl and Hershel were on the highway. They were the only ones there. They’d been waiting for the others to hopefully turn up, but no one had. A lone walker had been heading their way through the cars on the highway and they hide behind a car as it passed. Going around to the back of the car once it passed the side. Rick knew the highway wasn’t safe and they couldn’t stay there for long. Not with Carl. It was dangerous and no one had turned up.

“I don’t know how much longer we can stay here.” Hershel whispers.

“I- I’m not leaving without mom.” Carl whispers.

“So we’re just gonna walk away? Not knowing if my wife, you- your girls are still out there? How do we live with that?” Rick whispers to Hershel.

“You’ve only got one concern now, just one. Keeping him alive. Nature may be throwing us a curve ball, but that law is still true.” Hershel whispers.

Rick crouches to Carl’s height. “Carl. It’s not safe here. I’m sorry. We’ll--,” he’s cut short when he suddenly hears the hum of a motorcycle in the distance. 

They all look up to see Daryl appear with Carol on the back of his bike and the car and truck behind him with the others in them. Everyone pulls up to reunite. Rick goes over to Daryl, who stands over his bike, and they clap hands, shaking them as they greet each other. Lori then runs up to Carl and the three of them embrace in relief and Maggie and Beth get to reunite with Hershel.

“Where’d you find everyone?” Rick asks Daryl.

“Well, he’s got his taillights zigzagging all over the road, figured he’d have to be Asian driving like that.” Daryl jokes about Glenn, the group chuckling.

“Good one.” Glenn smirks.

“Hey, Y/N not here? Where’s the rest of us?” he asks, suddenly going serious.

“We’re the only ones who made it so far.” Rick answers.

Daryl sits back down on his bike about to start it as he says, “I gotta go back for Y/N.”

Rick holds his hand out, stepping towards him on the bike. “Hey, hey, we can’t go back, we can’t split off. Not now.” Rick orders.

Before Daryl can respond Lori asks of Shane. “Rick. Where’s Shane?” he just shakes his head, telling them he didn’t make it.

“Andrea?” Glenn asks. “She got walkers away from me then I lost her.” Carol answers. “We saw her go down.” t-Dog adds.

“Patricia?” Hershel asks. “They got her, too. Took her right from me. I was- I was holding onto her, daddy. She just--,” Beth explains but cries, not being able to finish her sentence. She pauses then asks after Jimmy. “What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?” 

“He was in the RV. It got overrun.” Rick answered. “What happened to Y/N?” he then asked.

“Daryl and Y/N saved me from the walkers, she made me take her place on the bike.” Carol answered. “Said she’d try make her way here.” Daryl added and Rick hung his head.

“You definitely saw Andrea?” Carol asks. “There were walkers everywhere.” Is all Lori can answer.

“Did you see her?” Carol questions again but no one says anything. 

“I’m going back to look for ‘em. Wait here in case Y/N comes out the woods.” Daryl announces.

“No.” Rick bluntly answers. “We can’t just leave ‘em. And I can’t leave Y/N, man.” Daryl states.

“But we don’t even know if they’re there.” Lori points out.

“They’re not there. They’re not. They’re somewhere else or they’re dead. There’s no way to find them and if we go back, we're dead. You said you saw Andrea go down and you said Y/N went into the woods. It would have been filled with walkers. If she didn’t get overrun she could have been chased or steered into any direction away from here.” Rick coldly explains.

“So we’re not even gonna look for them?” Glenn asks.

“We gotta keep moving. There’ve been walkers crawling all over here. We can’t stay here. We need to move on and find shelter.” Rick says.

“I say we head east.” T-Dog suggests.

“Woah, hey. We can’t leave till Y/N gets here. She said she’d be here, so she’ll be here.” Daryl snaps.

“We can’t wait that long. We’re too exposed and we gotta protect the people here. We don’t know if she’s alive or even made it out there alive.” Rick argues.

“So you just gonna abandon her a second time Rick, when she stayed to save someone else, again.” Daryl coldly points out, angered.

Rick pauses before he responds, a little pang of guilt rising in him but he soon shoves it down. He had to think to the future. About Carl and Lori. To protect the ones that were here now.  
“We have to. And so do you. All of us, we’re not staying. We stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers. We gotta move and we gotta do it now. The people who aren’t here are gone. We mourn them and move on. We have to. If we want to survive, this is the way.” Rick orders.

\---

Coming towards the highway, I started to see it through the woods, the last bit of it coming to an end as the road and scene of scattered cars came into view. From the distance and through the last stretch of trees, I noticed a figure standing on the road. Could it be Daryl?

I suddenly bolted forward, hearing Andrea calling out for me to wait but I ignored her. I came across the small strip of grass to leap over the metal railing only to see that the figure wasn’t Daryl. The walker turned at the sound of my arrival, snarling as he began his approach to me. I stared at it as it came towards me, in disappoint it wasn’t something, or rather, someone else. When it got close enough, I stabbed the sword in through it’s skull. I turned to see Andrea coming over the railing, coming to a stand before me. A pitiful look of ‘I told you so’ on her face. Not wanting to believe it, still holding onto a thread of hope, I started off down the highway without a word, headed towards the spot in which this whole chapter had started. That’s where they’d be waiting.

Or not. The highway was empty. Its roads scattered by a graveyard of cars and trucks, as Lori had once described it but that was it. No Rick, no Lori, no Hershel. No Daryl. No one was here. They’d gone. The feeling of loss washed over me as I closed my eyes standing on the highway, thinking back to the last moment I shared with Daryl. The feeling and memory of him against my lips. Now a painful one. As I opened my eyes, tears swelling up, I see the sign we left for Sophia on the car windscreen. The writing nearly gone, almost worn off, it was hardly visible anymore. 

As I felt Andrea’s hand touch my shoulder, I don’t face her, I just instead bring my hand up to touch hers on my shoulder as I stare at the windscreen, thinking back over these last few weeks we’ve had. The only couple redeeming things being that we had found a place to be safe and from it all, something had formed between Daryl and I. but now, both were gone. As I held Andrea’s hand, I thought how at least we weren’t alone. We had each other and each other’s backs. It was a good start, I supposed, to whatever was laid out ahead for us. We’d face it together. Although, I knew exactly what it was I wanted for us, what I wanted to find ahead of us. The group. Daryl. Tilting my head back up slightly; looking out at the last onslaught of cars stretched across the highway, determination crept in. We were going to find them. All of them. If it was the last thing we did.


End file.
